#i hope you like them i'm trying to do less common songs:)
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Affection

Pairing: Supreme!Strange x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 5,9k
Synopsis: A night at one of Tony's parties ends in a serious fight between you and Supreme and now he must find a way to make you forgive him.
Warnings: Use of the word "Whore", SMUT: prenetrative sex, angry sex, orgasm denial.
A/N: This one was supposed to be a brain rot smut, but I ended up developing the emotional part much more than the smut itself, however I really liked the result and I also thought it matched the inspiration that was the song. it is within the Multiple Stephens universe because I needed to include Defender Strange for plot reasons. I hope you like it and have a good reading ;)
Supreme Strange was a affectionate man. Maybe he wasn't the most romantic or the most attentive. He definitely wasn't as sweet as Defender or as understanding as the good doctor, but he prided himself on being a affectionate boyfriend. To his own standards. Sure, he used to get a little mean when he got jealous and you said he had a sharp tongue when he drank, but so what, right? Saying I love you or go fuck yourself were two ways of saying he cared, it was affection all the same.
He sighed, checking his phone for the tenth time that morning alone, acknowledging that maybe he had crossed the line in the last fight you had. Just a little. You refused to talk to him, you didn't answer his texts, and you were clearly waiting for a formal apology, but he wasn't the least bit inclined to do so once he knew that, even though he had crossed the line in his reaction, he had every right to be angry.
It all started at one of Tony Stark's parties. The night had started off really well, the three Stephens were there, you were happy about that because it wasn't common for the three of them to go out with you. You both had drunk that night. Stephen and Defender not much, but he had drunk a lot and you had allowed yourself a few glasses of champagne. You danced, to electronic music, which he hated, but at the time it seemed fun, you kissed, you made love in one of the tower's rooms - although making love wasn't exactly the name he would give to what you did there - and everything was fine until he saw you full of smiles and looks with Thor Odinson. You were friends, he understood that, but from friends to what he was witnessing there was a huge distance. You were practically sitting on the Asgardian's lap while you idiotically tried to lift his damn hammer. - And Supreme found himself wondering if you weren't trying to lift something else from the Norse god. It was indecent and ridiculous and he found himself wondering why the others weren't as outraged by the scene as he was. They both just watched the scene from afar and laughed and talked to each other like the good friends they were.
In the end, Supreme couldn't contain himself, much less hide his displeasure with the allegedly innocent joke, and a minute later he was dragging you by the arm to the huge balcony of the building and hurling every kind of accusation and insult that his dirty mouth could muster.
"I can't believe you're saying that!" You replied indignantly and slightly offended.
"Oh no? That's because you can't know what I'm thinking." He spat back, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you looked there? As if having three cocks isn't enough for you. Do you need another one?"
"You're drunk," you accused, and your eyes filled with tears, but he didn't let them move him.
"I'm not the one embarrassing myself for everyone to see. You should be ashamed of yourself acting like a fucking whore." He said, and your answer came too quickly for him to defend himself. You slapped him hard in the face and then raised your fists against his chest, striking him while you gave in to your tears and rage.
"You bastard, I hate you. I fucking hate you." You said it over and over until he grabbed your hands and pushed you against the wall, keeping you trapped there and making you look at him.
“You're mine, do you understand? Fucking mine!" He shouted and then kissed you roughly. Too roughly. His kiss, always full of love and passion, felt more like an assault to him, and he liked it.
You tried to fight him, but there wasn't much your small frame could do against his muscular body other than surrender, and that's exactly what you did, and somehow he knew that was where he really hurt you, when he made you see the power he had over you. But you kissed him back, even if you were angry, and it was impossible to know if the night would have ended differently if the two of you hadn't been interrupted by Defender Strange. Always him. The good Samaritan.
"Supreme, let her go." He heard him say just as he had taken your lips by force again and you were giving in. "You're drunk and you're hurting her."
Supreme could have started a fight right there, but he just stepped away, looking at his other self with disdain. "If you were half the man you think you are, you would be as offended as I am by that deplorable scene." He accused.
"Because I'm a better man than you are, I know there was no malice on either side. They were just having fun, and you would know that if you weren't so sickly jealous."
"Because I love her." He said through gritted teeth.
"Because you confuse love with possession," Defender replied and Supreme felt an overwhelming urge to punch him in the face, but he just walked right past them both, walked back to the lounge, grabbed his suit jacket that was hanging on the chair and left.
When he woke up the next morning his head felt like it was going to explode and the memories of the fight seemed distant and to some extent not a big deal, but when you didn't look him in the face during breakfast, he understood. Three days later he was checking his cell phone waiting for you to answer the countless texts he had sent just that morning while he was confined in the compound waiting for the Avengers meeting to end. He was leaving on a mission with Barton, Rogers and Romanoff in a few days and he didn't want to leave things as they were, but deep down he knew he had messed up terribly with you, even his narcissistic ass understood that his reaction wasn't normal and the fact that everything had happened at a Stark party, in front of your friends, only made things worse for him.
...
You were tired and it wasn't even noon yet. To be honest, you had no idea how you would get through that day and your mind kept playing with excuses to get up, grab your things and leave the office. Your cell phone wouldn't stop buzzing with texts from Supreme, each one more eloquent than the last and you knew their pattern well. First he would apologize saying that he had overreacted, then he would blame you for something you hadn't done, then he would say that even if you hadn't done anything wrong, you should avoid that kind of situation once you knew him and knew he would be angry. Again, he would blame you, but then he would apologize for the overreaction he had, and the cycle would go on and on.
He was so different from the other Stephens that sometimes you wondered if it was possible for them to be the same person. Stephen would never treat you like that. Defender would never talk to you like that, but Supreme always found a reason to take out all his frustrations on you and you hated him in those moments, but you couldn't help but love him in all the others.
"Y/n? Did you hear what I said?" You heard Phil saying and were dragged back to your reality inside the office, to the sound of the extremely loud air conditioning, the incessant typing on the keyboards of the computers in the booths next to yours, the hurried footsteps and the ringing of the phones.
"I'm sorry." That was all you said and he stared at you for a minute, rolling his lips and then repeated the question.
"The Link Dynamics files? I need to deliver everything to their lawyer this afternoon. Tell me you didn't forget!"
Of course you forgot. "Of course not! I'll finish reviewing them. I’ll bring them to your desk in a minute."
Phil's worried frown turned into a wide smile "You're the best, Y/n." He said and left.
To some extent, the desperation to finish your work in time for the 1pm meeting helped you forget about the issue with your problematic boyfriend and thus you managed to avoid the intrusive thoughts that told you to run away from work and lock yourself inside your room to watch bad TV shows and eat junk food.
By the end of the afternoon there were at least twenty texts that you didn't bother to read and when you got home the Sanctum was silent and your chest was enveloped by warmth when you smelled food coming from the kitchen indicating that Defender had already arrived. You took off your shoes and left your bag and keys on top of the sideboard and followed the smell to the kitchen where you found him distracted by the stove.
You didn't bother to announce your arrival, instead you approached and wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head on his back.
"Hi there" He chuckled, stroking your arm lightly and continued with his work. "Long day?"
"You have no idea." You groaned.
He hummed, finishing stirring what looked like a very juicy and fragrant stew. "Since you’re here, taste it for me and help me decide if it needs anything else." He asked, gently turning and bringing the spoon to your mouth, his other hand under the spoon to make sure not a drop would stain your white blouse. It was a fish stew and although you hadn't seen it, you could taste the potatoes and carrots, as well as paprika, thyme, garlic and olives perhaps. You hummed, slowly savoring it and then pretended to think for a second. "More salt, perhaps." You finally said and he raised his eyebrow.
"Really? That's not what I had in mind. I thought more pepper."
You shook your head. “No, it’s fine as it is. It’s just that you know me, I like my food with a little extra salt.”
He smirked. “I guess a pinch wouldn’t hurt.” He turned and added a pinch of salt to the stew and stirred it gently and you found yourself staring at him. He looked gorgeous, even though he looked completely normal. He wore black sweatpants and a gray long-sleeved t-shirt. His hair was tied back in its usual ponytail and his feet were bare. You loved it. Seeing him in his most natural, domestic form, doing normal things like cooking. The image always made your heart skip a beat.
“I didn’t expect you to cook tonight. I thought you’d be tired. I was already deciding between having a sandwich for dinner or ordering something.” You confessed, watching as he turned off the heat on the pot and removed a pan of gratin vegetables from the oven. He carefully placed it on the counter. "I was anxious. You know how I get before missions. I thought it would be a good idea to have a proper dinner before I go."
You couldn't hide the pout you made, and he smiled at you quickly. "I'll be back in three days." You crossed your arms. "The last time you said that you were gone for almost two weeks."
He let out a small laugh. "I know, but this time is different. I have no reason to believe something so big could happen to keep me away for so long."
You nodded, still reluctant. "I still wish you didn't go."
"Me too." He confessed and dedicated himself to setting the table and you smiled watching him arrange each plate and dish in its proper place. He was always meticulous in this matter and you found it super charming. Although the Sanctum had a beautiful dining room, you were used to eating in the kitchen. It was spacious enough and had a certain comfort that the sterile living room lacked. The smaller table could seat six people, but Defender was used to always setting out four plates. That night, however, he hesitated when setting out the fourth, but did it anyway.
You sighed as you watched him finish arranging everything and finally gave in to the matter that hung over you like a gray cloud.
"I know I can't leave things as they are, but I don't know how to move on as if nothing had happened."
He finished setting out the cutlery on the table and then rolled his lips, thinking of the best way to say what he was thinking.
"Say it."
"He's not gonna change, baby. We've been at this too long to understand that this is just the way he is, and I can say that for sure because he is me."
You shook your head. "Sometimes it's hard to believe that. You would never talk to me like that."
"But the man I was would. I've evolved, baby, I've gotten better with time and pain, but Supreme is the way he is, and you've always known that. You were already irritated with him from the start, remember? But you fell in love with him anyway."
You lowered your eyes because you couldn't bear to look him in the eye. 'Because he's you and you're Stephen.'
"Yes, I know. We are Stephen and I’m pretty sorry for that" He said nodding. “You know I don’t blame you for falling in love with him. I just need you to understand that he is the way he is since the beginning and we don’t have any reason to believe he’s gonna change.”
Somehow you felt guilty about the situation you had put yourself in at that party. Even though there was no malice in the joke with Thor, you had a few more glasses of champagne than you should have and that affected your judgment. Sober you would never put yourself in that situation knowing that Supreme was there watching you and by understanding that things didn’t get any easier.
"It's just... I hate him sometimes." You confessed, feeling the weight on your chest intensifying.
"But you love him anyway." Defender finished. "It's okay to admit it. I know. I always knew, since day one."
"What should I do then? I can’t pretend nothing happened." You asked, genuinely lost, but he just smiled politely.
"Rule number 16, baby."
You sighed. "You guys can't interfere when I get into a fight with another Stephen."
"Exactly. And I think I interfered too much that night, but I don't regret it, tough. I just can't tell you what you should do. However, I can tell you what I wish you wouldn't do."
You waited.
"Let him go on a mission without you guys having resolved this."
You stared at him, understanding very well where he was going with this. If something happened and Supreme got hurt, you would never forgive yourself. "Now I hate him even more." You sighed and Defender came closer, pulling you to nestle into his chest. "Love and hate are awfully close, baby. Now, let’s forget this matter for a bit so we can enjoy our meal together. What do you think?"
You nodded and he smiled contentedly, gently lifting your chin to kiss you. He did it slowly, just a touch of lips that lingered over time and made your knees go weak. It was how he got everything from you. Gently and lovingly. With Defender Strange things were always that way.
When your lips parted you let out a little moan and then confessed "I love when you kiss me like that."
He frowned "Like what?"
"Like you. Soft and gentle. You can get anything from me like that, Defender Strange."
He let out a little laugh "You think I'm soft, huh?"
You smiled feeling your face blush "Only with me. Outside you are a feared and highly respected sorcerer."
"Okay, good to know I can keep the appearances." He hummed contentedly and then kissed you again the same way.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you're super sweet."
"Thank you, baby." He said, smirking and kissing you one more time before pulling away and ordering, "Now I think it's best if you go upstairs and change. We don't want the food to get cold."
You nodded, reluctantly pulling away from him.
"While you're at it, tell the doctor that dinner is ready. He should be in the library." He asked.
“Okay” You said walking away.
...
Supreme was distracted on the phone, confirming the last details of the mission when he heard a knock on the door. He had gotten out of the shower and was in front of the mirror, gathering the courage to shave when he was interrupted by the call from his fellow Avenger, and they had been on the phone for several minutes. Since he took a while to answer, he heard the sound of the bedroom door opening and a voice calling him, but he didn’t bothered to answer.
"I believe everything is fine, but if you have any questions, you can call me later, Romanoff." He said, hanging up the phone.
"Supreme" Defender called and he threw the towel in the sink, giving in to laziness and leaving the bathroom.
"Dinner is ready. I thought you would want to eat with us instead of here." Defender informed, entering the room.
Supreme shook his head. "I don't want to be where I'm not welcome." He said simply. In the last few days, you had refused to sit at the table with him and that had broken his heart deeply, but he understood, or at least he was making a huge effort to understand.
"She's still mad at you. God knows she has her reasons, but she's not okay with the way things are." Defender sighed. "She misses you. Just apologize and get it over with, Supreme."
He stared at his feet for a few seconds. "I really messed up, didn't I?"
Defender chuckled nervously, "That's what you always do. You let your emotions speak louder than reason. It's amazing how different we are in that way. I have so much trouble acting with my heart instead of my head, but with you it's all the time."
Supreme sighed heavily, putting both hands on his hips, his head still down, and then nodded, glancing at Defender regretfully. "I love her. I'm jealous of her. When I saw her..." He stopped, shaking his head to rid himself of the memory. "I know I should control it, but I can't. She's mine” He stopped himself and shook his head. “Ours. She is ours. This... I can understand this thing we have because it's us, but when any other man gets close to her, I just lose my mind."
Defender nodded, "She loves us, Supreme. There is no one else. But we need to treat her much better. You need to treat her much better, Supreme. What you did... the things you said to her were unacceptable."
"I just said it, I wasn't thinking straight..."
"You called her a whore."
Supreme looked at him in surprise "I didn't."
"Yes, you did. You hurt her. She told me."
"Of course she did." There was no way to refute that. Defender was right as always and Supreme wanted to go back in time to erase that horrible night, but he couldn't do that. He needed to deal with the consequences of his actions.
"Say you are sorry." Defender ordered with his authoritative tone that always made Supreme's blood boil in his veins.
"Do you really think I haven't done that before?"
"Do it again. Say it like you mean it. Say it bluntly, without apologies, without blaming her for something you did because that's what you always do!"
Yeah, there was no way to refute that either.
"Why do you even care?"
Defender sighed, "I told you. She loves you and misses you. That's why." He said, turning to leave the room. “I just can’t stand to see the sadness in her face.”
Supreme went back to the bathroom and stood in front of the sink, staring at his reflection in the mirror. He looked fine. His defined chest and visible biceps were a source of pride for him. After all, the hours he spent at the Compound gym listening to bad music had to be paid for somehow, but at that moment all he could see were the bags under his eyes resulting from sleepless nights. He knew Defender was right and he was wrong, and that was hard for him. His narcissism made everything about him, you said, but what you didn't know was that being like he was could hurt him a lot.
When he finally went down to dinner, he found you and the other Stephens already eating. Apparently, Defender had cooked that night and you were all delighted with him, giving little compliments while humming with each bite of food.
"I mean it. That's the most delicious flounder I've ever had in my life." You said, which made him almost roll his eyes, but he held himself back.
"You're still here. I thought you'd already left." Doctor Strange said as Supreme sat in the place reserved for him and right in front of you.
"Tomorrow. We're still working out some details." He answered while serving himself.
"What's the situation?" The doctor asked.
"Possible misuse of ancient magical artifacts in southern Russia. Some people died in unnatural ways, which caught the attention of the Avengers. They could be relics, which I doubt."
"I remember Wong saying he has an inventory of all the magical relics on this planet so if one go missing he would know." Defender confirmed. "Whatever it is, it's not sorcery."
Supreme took a forkful of food and had to hold back his satisfaction. It was indeed delicious and somehow that only made him feel even worse. How was it possible that one of them knew how to cook so well and the other two could barely boil water to make spaghetti?
"Witchcraft, perhaps. We've faced things like this before." Doctor Strange guessed. "You could ask Maximoff for her opinion."
"No, I can handle it." He said, glancing subtly at you. You were eating in silence now, but you must have been staring at him because your eyes met, and he could see your cheeks turn pink before you looked away.
Doctor Strange shook his head. "It's up to you, but dealing with witchcraft can be dangerous." "No. It's fine with me. I've dealt with plenty of witches in my universe." He bragged and then sipped from his glass of the white wine Defender had chosen for the evening. An excellent choice, to say the least.
Stephen didn't press the issue, but you looked directly at Supreme for the first time that day and spoke visibly irritated. At that point he suspected that the sound of his breathing was enough to irritate you. "Let's hope your arrogance doesn't get you killed one of these days, Stephen. I honestly don't know how you can stand yourself."
That hurt.
"Come on doll, don't be like that." He found himself begging as he watched you stand up and threaten to leave the table. The idea that you would rather give up such a delicious meal than endure being in his presence was devastating to him.
"Don't call me like that!" You almost yelled at him, which made him snap too.
"I'm sorry, okay?" He almost shouted the words, standing up as well. "I'm sorry. I hurt you and said things I shouldn't have. I overreacted and it wasn't your fault. None of this was your fault. I'm so sorry."
He couldn't believe how saying those words felt like it lifted a weight off his chest. He needed this as much as you did, apparently.
However, it took you so long to show any reaction that the relief was quickly replaced by the fear that he had somehow managed to make everything even worse. You just stood there staring at him. The other Stephens didn't dare say anything. Supreme was pretty sure they were barely breathing for fear of breaking some stupid rule of theirs by interfering. "Honey... I love you. Please, talk to me. Forgive me. It wasn't your fault, it was my fault and my fault alone and I'm sorry for saying otherwise and I'm sorry for being the way I am, but please, I can't take this anymore. I miss you." Your reaction to his words was so abrupt that he barely realized what you were doing when you ran and went around the table and then threw yourself into his arms. The next thing he knew, he had your head in his hands and was kissing every inch of your face, forehead, eyes, nose, cheek and only then did he kiss your sweet lips and the little moan you let out when he deepened the kiss made his whole body tingle.
"Finally" he heard one of the Stephens say softly.
"Why did it take you so long to say it?" You asked against his lips.
"Because I'm a fool." He heard himself say and then pulled you back to his lips.
...
There were so many types of sex and you loved every single one of them. Lazy sex, when you woke up in the morning together and could afford to stay in bed late. It was usually slow and unpretentious. There was also homecoming sex, when Stephen came back from a mission after being away for weeks. It was always hard and desperate and full of sweat and saliva. Midnight sex, when one of you woke the other up to make love, sometimes it ended in cockwarming and both of you fell asleep without cumming, but that was never the goal.
That particular night you were introduced to a different form of sex, one that everyone talks about but that you had never experienced: Makeup sex.
You barely realized how you got to the bedroom. One minute you were eating dinner and the next you were devouring Supreme's mouth as he slammed the door behind you and you jumped on his lap. A moment later you were both naked and he was directing his cock at your entrance.
He wasn't gentle, actually, the thing about makeup sex is that it's not gentle. There's too much feeling involved and a desperate need to satisfy a pent-up desire.
"Shit, honey..." he cursed through his teeth as he finally buried himself inside you. The stretch was welcome and before he could say anything that would ruin the moment, you shut him up with another kiss, using the situation to your advantage to take control of the kiss. You used the support of your hands on his shoulders to bounce on his dick and your eyes rolled back with pleasure and you found yourself confessing on his lips.
"Oh I missed this. I missed you."
He groaned contentedly holding you by the ass and helping you move up and down on his cock, but a minute later he was throwing you on the mattress and coming on top of you. He entered you quickly and your legs locked on his hips while your nails dug into the skin of his back. He forced himself against you like a desperate man, it was something primal and delicious and your body responded to each thrust with the same desperation, producing more and more of that wetness that made him slide inside you with frightening ease and at the same time made an obscene squelching and wet sound.
"Fuck" He rasped between your lips "You're so fucking wet for me, honey. Feels so good."
You just hummed in response, at that point your mind was completely incapable of formulating a sentence, your heart was racing and there were so many emotions involved.
"I missed you so much. I'm sorry, love. I promise I will be better. I just... was so jealous. I am so jealous of you all the time and when I saw..."
"Shut up, Stephen" You said using all your strength to push him off of you. He didn't resist, he just rolled over on the bed and let you go on top of him. You slid him inside you again, taking control with a certain desperation and he allowed it. Supreme was not submissive, in fact he never allowed himself to be in a position where he was not in control, but that night he did not hesitate to let you ride him and you did it with force, with anger, with something more than just the pleasure you felt. It was as if by subjugating him like that you were making up for everything he had put you through in the last few days.
It didn't last long. And you didn't care. Your eyes closed, feeling the familiar tightening in the pit of your stomach and you didn't fight against it, you kept moving, grinding against him like an animal in heat as sweat ran down your neck and your breathing became labored and labored. The muscles in your thighs ached with the intensity of your movements, but you didn't care either, you needed to keep going, you needed your release, you needed that sweet catharsis to wash your soul and body and maybe then you could leave everything that happened behind. Sex as a cure. When the knot finally broke you let out a moan so loud that you knew anyone inside the Sanctum could hear it, the orgasm so strong it felt like you were going to pass out right there. It was over. You were his and he was yours and love had healed everything. Love would always heal everything.
...
Stephen had never felt that way before. It was easy to say that he had never seen you act that way before. The way you used him to reach your high was almost offensive, as if he was nothing more than a cock you could rub yourself against until you got what you wanted and that should have made him angry, but on the contrary, it was fucking hot. Maybe, and just maybe, he could understand the appeal that submission had with Defender. It was sexy with you.
However, when he realized that when you were done you simply dismounted him and threw yourself on the bed without giving him the chance to join in that bliss with you, he understood. The sex hadn't been for him, and you still hadn't said you had forgiven him.
You lay there in silence, and he chuckled nervously feeling his dick throb in protest. He ran a hand over his face and then turned to look at you and there were tears in your eyes and his heart broke into pieces knowing that it was his fault.
"I never meant to make you mad, you know? I was joking. Thor is like a brother to me. All of them..." You stopped as your voice broke and then took a deep breath before continuing. "They're my friends."
He was silent for a minute. All the adrenaline from the unfinished sex was quickly fading and replaced by remorse. "I know."
You wiped a tear that ran down the side of your face and then smiled at him, and the smile was sad. "There is only you, Stephen."
It wasn't easy for someone like him to admit when he was wrong, but in that moment, Supreme understood how cruel his behavior was and how he always managed to hurt you even when he knew you were the person he loved most in the world. How fucking contradictory could that be? His stomach churned with self-disgust, but he took a deep breath and cupped your cheek gently and pulled you in for a kiss. Soft, slow, completely unlike the sex had been, but with the same intensity of emotion involved. When your lips parted he could feel his eyes wet with tears he refused to shed and he was finally ready to tell you how sorry he was for everything when you covered his mouth with your fingertips and smiled.
"I know. I don't want to talk about what happened anymore, I just want to stay here with you. Please."
And how could he deny that? So he pulled you into his arms and you eagerly snuggled into his chest while he buried his nose in your hair, inhaling its delicious scent. You were so sweet, so fragile and at the same time so strong. There was nothing he could say to explain how much he loved you, he just hoped you could see it in his gestures. Even the bad ones.
You were silent for a few minutes. The orgasm that had been denied to him long forgotten. His blackened fingers continued to slide slowly down your arms and you drew circles on his chest with your nails. It was comfortable and intimate, and he didn't know anything better than that.
It was you who broke the silence after several minutes. Your fingers were now playing around his lips as if outlining a goatee that wasn't there.
"You need to shave." You said and there was a hint of irritation in your voice that was almost comical, and he couldn't help but tease you about it.
"I really don't get it. I thought you liked men with beards. You live with two of them, after all."
You tsked petulantly as if it was obvious what you needed to explain.
"I like beards, not stubbles. They itch and give me allergies. And besides, they give an air of sloppiness that doesn't suit you. I'm used to seeing you always impeccable and I like it. It must be the only good thing about your narcissism."
Ouch. You could have forgiven him - though you refused to say so - but he knew it would take you a while to let it go completely. Either way, he deserved it. Whatever treatment you decided to give him, he deserved it.
"I'll shave in the morning," he said obediently.
You hummed and went silent again for a long time, long enough for him to notice your breathing becoming more regular and low and your body weighing more in his arms and just like that he knew you had fallen asleep. He stared at the ceiling with a relieved smile on his lips, but the relief was contained and he found himself remembering a random moment from last week, but at that moment as he replayed it in his head it gained a new meaning. You and he were in the living room, it was Sunday, his day to be with you and you had decided to spend that time together at home instead of going out. You had dinner and were watching a movie sprawled on the couch. His head was in your lap while you stroked his hair. It was a normal and routine moment, but Stephen passed by you and observed the scene with a disapproving look and teased "You don't deserve her."
At the time he responded with an ironic "Fuck off", but when he remembered, after everything that had happened in the last few days and everything that had happened in his universe, Supreme knew it was true. He didn't deserve you.

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing!
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Hallo! IT'S ME AGAINNNNN!
Okay, so I was listening to a song and daydreaming, and then boom—I came up with this idea,It might not make total sense(lmao), but here we gooooo...
So, Donna and the reader are close. They’re not exactly friends, but it’s definitely more than just “a lord and a random villager.” The catch? Donna has a girlfriend whom she genuinely loves. Every time she sees the reader, she can’t help but rave about how amazing her girlfriend is, always blabbing about her personality and how great she treats Donna.
But then, They break up over something (maybe Donna finds out that Mother Miranda sent her "girlfriend" to make her feel less lonely). Donna is heartbroken, but during one of her crises, she realizes the reader is the one who ACTUALLY cares about her. So, she gets her emotions in check and starts getting close to the reader, and they eventually start dating. Donna is OVER THE MOON because, this time, she knows someone is truly in love with her, and she turns into a total hopeless romantic. She loves the reader way more than she ever loved her ex (way more than ANYONE actually)
But here’s where it gets a bit shaky: the reader sometimes feels like she's not enough because she remember all the sweet things Donna used to say about her ex. So, the reader starts putting a ton of pressure on herself, trying to be better. Donna notices right away and makes it her mission to ensure the reader never feels that way again. (You can totally ignore this part if you’re not feeling the angst, though!)
yeah that's it.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, CUTIE! WISH YOU THE BEST! TSCHÜSS!
Yess!!!! Thank you for your request and for being here!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))))
A fake love, a real love
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Angst, fluff
Word count: 7,643
Summary: You loved her, but she didn't...
N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))
Walking to that isolated mansion might seem like an unwanted routine, something you had to do, but you didn't like. No one could blame you if you refused that usual errand, if you refused to cross that forest, those ruins, to get closer to the home where fear itself lived.
But you, a normal villager, young, happy and without much fear of everything around you, didn't see it that way. It was a normal transaction that had been common for you since you could remember. Your parents were farmers, a profession that couldn't be missing in an isolated village like that. Fruits, vegetables... everything that could feed a person was sold and grown by them.
Naturally, they weren't the only family that provided the village with food, but it was the only one who had the privilege of doing so for important people. Your father was related to a person who had long worked in the lands of the Beneviento family. That connection with one of the four noble families was what made you never lacked work.
Your parents were providers for that strange family long before you were born, like a kind of family profession that was inherited over time. You never knew the old family that lived next to a waterfall, that made dolls to brighten up the boring life of the villagers.
When you were born, they no longer existed. Misfortune had taken its toll on that Italian family. Not even your father could quite understand what exactly happened; he was only a child when Mr. and Mrs. Beneviento decided to end their life by jumping into the void.
It was the end of their existence, but not the end of their family. They left a girl too young to bear that horrible loss, a strange girl, carrier of a terrible mental illness.
No one could have guessed what would become of that girl after the death of her family. Only Josef Simon, the family gardener, and your young father were able to discover what was left in that horrible place, which then belonged to the only daughter who survived the tragedy: the young and sick Donna Beneviento.
You didn't know much about her, only what your parents talked about from time to time. Shortly after that tragedy, the Beneviento girl closed herself off even more, spending years and years completely alone.
But that was until, one day, when the young Donna apparently decided to give up, her destiny changed forever. Mother Miranda, the priestess who claimed to have the will of the Black Gods, saw something in that young woman with black hair and a horrible scar on her face.
The young Donna, barely 32 years old, became (you didn't know if voluntarily or not) one of the four Lords, the youngest of the witch's adopted children. That was too long ago, enough for your father to know something about who he was working for.
As time went by, the cold relationship with the lady of the mansion remained as a silent alliance. Serving a noble family and then, serving a Lord… It was definitely a good change for your family.
Since you were very young, you had accompanied your parents on their deliveries and, of course, you had walked the dangerous path that led to the mansion. You barely remember what your first encounters with that strange woman, with that veiled woman, dressed in black, who never, ever said a single word, were like.
You were just a little girl, and, well, the power that Lady Beneviento had, allowed her to give life to the Angie doll. You were a little girl, Angie was a doll. It was quite evident that it caught your attention.
Little by little you began to want to go to the mansion to play with the puppet, to laugh, to have fun with its irreverent attitude. Tag, hide and seek... For a girl without too many friends like you, the Angie doll began to seem like a playmate.
That silent appreciation of the lady, and Angie's playful attitude towards you was something your parents would always be grateful for. If Angie was happy, Donna was happy, if Donna was happy, you could live another day.
Of course you weren’t immortal, you didn’t have the grace of not aging, and as time went by, you grew up enough to get bored of playing with the doll. The lady, always hidden in the shadows, began to catch your attention. She was a lonely woman, a woman you didn’t know if she even noticed you.
Already in your teens, you began to show some of your slightly more daring attitude, asking questions to the lady in black, or even sharing books with her; a silent exchange that didn't seem to bother the Lord. Due to that lack of fear the lady generated in you, unlike your parents, at only 14 years old, you were the only one in charge of delivering the orders to that lost mansion.
Getting along with Donna was perhaps an exaggeration, but, unlike most of the villagers, you didn't feel uncomfortable with her presence. Her gestures were vague, and your voice and Angie's were the only ones that could be heard.
The years passed and that strange relationship you had with the lady in black mutated little by little, until, finally, you had the privilege of hearing her hoarse voice, addressing you.
Small talks, advices, personal experiences... the conversations became more complicated as you grew up, becoming a new routine that you considered pleasant.
Donna wasn’t your friend, she never was and she never would be, but your relationship certainly couldn't be limited to what it really was. You were both quite close, you had known each other for many years, and you learned to relate in a pleasant way.
At 21, you continued working for your parents. You continued walking through that dark forest, knocking on that door, talking with the lady in black.
She had lost her fear of the unknown, of that smiling girl who brought her vegetables. The trust increased enough for Lady Beneviento to do something unthinkable, uncover her face.
Your father barely remembered what her face was like, what that young, tormented girl looked like. No one had seen that woman once adopted by Miranda, no one knew what that black veil hid, no one, except you.
Beneath the black cloth there was no hideous monster, as your companions used to say or speculate. No, there was only a beautiful woman, black and shiny hair, a beautiful eye, an existing one.
You could sense why the lady in black covered herself, but you didn't quite understand it. Donna Beneviento, Lord and doll maker, wasn't a monster, and somehow, you knew that some time ago.
You tried to convince yourself, to deny the things you were starting to feel when you were with her, but you couldn't.
That strange woman who barely spoke to you, but who smiled, who laughed at your stupid comments, was no longer just a job for you. She was no longer Lady Beneviento, she was just Donna. Without being friends you were close, and, at 21 years old, with no hope of finding love, she became the involuntary target of your heart.
You couldn't help it, you were crazy about her. It didn't matter that you knew what she was capable of, that you had heard the horrible things she did in the past, those that your parents sometimes commented on. She was everything to you, the only reason that made you smile in your hard work.
Distracted, you approached the estate with your weekly order, clumsily checking that your working girl clothes were as neatly arranged as possible.
“Ahem,” you said, clearing your throat before knocking softly on the door.
“Who is it?” a squeaky voice asked, along with small footsteps on the wood.
Behind the door was not Donna, but the doll Angie, comically opening it and looking at you suspiciously.
“Hi, Angie, how are you?” you asked, crouching down pleasantly and smiling kindly at your old playmate.
“Oh, it's you,” the doll said, placing a hand on her chest. “I thought you wouldn't come, silly.”
“Of course I came, I-I'm bringing the vegetables,” you said, pointing to the boxes. “Is Donna here?”
“Um, yes,” Angie said, leaning over the boxes and picking up some vegetables. “But… she’s kind of… busy right now.”
“Oh,” you said, feeling a dagger stab your heart slowly, painfully. “T-Then I better go and…”
“No, no, don’t go,” Angie said, tugging at your dress hastily. “Stay, stay.”
“I don’t want to disturb you,” you said in a small voice, suppressing a sob.
“Nonsense, we like you being here,” the doll said, crossing her arms. “Come, come in.”
“Angie, I don’t…” you said uncertainly, picking up the boxes and entering the mansion. “W-Wait,” you said whispering when the doll closed the door and walked away from you and towards the living room.
“Hey, you two! Stop that!” Angie shrieked, causing some annoying grunts that you tried not to hear. “(Y/N) has come! Hey, silly, come here!”
Obeying without really wanting to, you walked slowly towards the voices. Just as you feared, on Donna's lap, there was a girl, one you had known for a while, who was part of your visits to the estate.
“Oh, (Y/N), I'm glad to see you,” the lady in black said with a soft voice, standing up and straightening her dress, with a kind smile.
“Hello, Donna,” you said, with a slight blush on your cheeks, looking away from the young woman who sat up, getting up from the sofa, putting on her clothes as well. “I-I'm glad too. S-Sorry to interrupt, Angie…”
“Mm, don't worry, we were just... wasting the time,” the Lord said softly, with an embarrassed smile. “Sit down, please... would you like some tea?”
“Oh, no, I don't want to disturb,” you said kindly, moving away from the overwhelming presence of the lady, from her addictive smile. “H-Hello, Anya.”
The girl nodded with a fake smile, checking that her dress, a little flashy one, was in its place.
“How are you, (Y/N)?” the young woman said, walking beside you.
“Fine,” you said dryly, looking at the floor and not at how the girl approached Donna, planting a wet kiss on one of her cheeks, causing a shy giggle that made you tremble.
“Donna, honey, I've taken up too much of your time, I'd better get home,” Anya murmured in her ear, looking at you out of the corner of her eye.
“Are you going to leave? Why don't you stay and have some tea with (Y/N) and me?” the lady asked, gently grabbing her hand, with a pleading eye.
“I'm sorry, sweetie, but I can't,” she whispered, approaching the coat rack to pick up her clothes. “Don't worry, sweetie, see you tomorrow, mm?” she said, approaching Donna again and running a hand over her chest. “I'll let you do whatever you want to me... Don...” she whispered, discreetly making you burn and kissing the lady slowly, before moving away and walking definitively towards the exit.
“Va bene,” Donna sighed, without losing sight of her girlfriend.
“Mm, don't talk to me that weird, you know I don't understand you,” Anya said, shaking her head as she opened the door.
“I'm sorry, I mean... it's okay, see you tomorrow,” the woman in black corrected, playing nervously with her hands. “Be careful, please.”
“Of course, baby,” the girl said, before throwing a kiss in the air and closing the door, disappearing, to your relief.
That girl was a bit stupid, but your opinion was clouded by spite, so you never told Donna what you thought.
Anya had been her girlfriend for some time. You still remember the pain it caused you to hear it from her lips, to hear that there was someone who had managed to make Donna fall in love, and that it wasn't you.
Donna loved her with all her heart. She did nothing but speak wonders of that young woman from the village, who appeared by chance in her life and turned it upside down. Jealousy and rage built up in your body every time you saw her approach Donna, kiss her, caress her, but you had to suffer in silence.
Confessing your love was something for which it was too late and, even if it was just a friendship, you didn’t want to lose it, you wanted to continue seeing that beautiful woman, even if her heart never belonged to you.
“She is beautiful, isn't she?” the lady murmured when her girlfriend left, biting her lip and turning shyly.
You smiled sadly, nodding and looking at your clothes, completely different from that Anya’s, from that love-stealer.
“Yes, she is,” you sighed with a fake smile, scratching the back of your neck.
“Sono pazza di lei,” Donna whispered, leaning her head towards the door.
“Yes, I see that,” you said amused, bending down to pick up the boxes and put them on the table. “Look, Donna, I brought you the vegetables you asked for.”
“Mm, let me see, (Y/N),” she said, getting a little closer to you to rummage through the boxes, carefully examining the vegetables. “Wow, those peppers look really good.”
“It's been a very good harvest,” you commented distracted by her slender hands, hands that would never caress you.
“No doubt,” Donna murmured, going back to put the vegetables. “Aspetta un attimo, I'm going to get your money.”
“Okay,” you said with a kind look, without losing sight of her, without missing a detail of her walk, the hypnotic dance of her dress.
“Thank goodness she's gone…” Angie said, suddenly getting on the table, scaring you. “That girl is a pain in the ass.”
“Why do you say that?” you asked curiously, checking the vegetables again. “She seems nice.”
“Nice? She's dumb and boring as a rock. She never wants to play with me,” the doll said, making you laugh unintentionally and shake your head. “I don't know what Donna saw in her.”
“She's beautiful,” you said with a sad voice, looking at the place where the Lord disappeared and gently closing your eyes. “Donna didn't deserve less.”
“Do you like that stupid girl?” Angie asked, making you think carefully about your answer.
“Um, well, I don't know her very well, but if she makes Donna happy…” you whispered, trying to keep your voice from breaking. “I guess I like her.”
“I don't,” Angie said, with a brusque gesture. “I don't like that girl at all, but Donna doesn't listen to me, she's completely in love with her.”
“It's good that Donna has a girlfriend she loves, she deserves it, you know as well as I do that she's been through a lot of disgraces,” you said without wanting to say it, hurting yourself.
“That's what worries me,” the doll said, getting a little closer to you. “Donna's a fool too, suddenly a pretty girl comes out of nowhere, tells her she’s in love with her and wants to be with her… and all that shit.”
“What are you implying?” you asked, now paying full attention.
“I didn't imply anything, I'm saying it clearly: I don't want that stupid girl to be Donna's girlfriend,” Angie said, with a confidential whisper, almost speaking in your ear. “I don't like Anya, there's something about her that gives me a bad feeling.”
“I'm afraid that's what Donna has chosen, you can't do anything,” you commented with a sad sigh, watching the door.
“No... but you can,” the puppet said, pointing at you. “You are her friend, aren't you?”
“Me? I-I don't know if friend is the right word but...”
“You can tell her what you think of that stupid girl, Donna will listen to you,” said the doll, jumping comically on the table.
“What? No, I'm not going to do that,” you said, shaking your head. “Donna is happy with Anya and I have no right to butt in.”
“Another boring girl,” Angie said, getting down from the table when the lady's heels began to echo on the wood. “I wish you were her girlfriend instead that fool.”
Your eyes widened at her comment, but you didn't have much time to think about it, as Donna appeared through the door, a bag of coins in her hand.
“Prego,” she whispered, giving you the bag with a tender smile, to which you nodded.
“Thanks Donna, I hope you didn't overpay me as usual,” you said amused.
She laughed and shook her head.
“Are you going to question my will, (Y/N)?” she joked, gesturing for you to follow her to the couch.
“I would never dare,” you said, putting the coins in your bag.
“Sit with me,” she said, kicking the couch. “Do you want to play chess?”
“Chess?” you asked, sitting as far away from her as possible while she pulled out an old board. “I-I don't know, I always lose.”
“Don't talk nonsense, you've beaten me more than once,” Donna said, her gaze away from yours, placing the pieces. “White or black?”
“Black. You probably play a lot with Anya…” you commented, choosing a color while the lady focused on the board, looking at you briefly and shaking her head.
“Not really,” the doll maker whispered, sitting in front of you, with a thoughtful look. “Anya says it's boring. She doesn't like to play this… kind of games.”
“Oh, well, I guess there are all kinds of tastes, right?” you asked, ignoring that information. “Let's see…”
“Certo,” Donna sighed, making her first move. “Anyway, we don't have much time to play or chat. I'm afraid that... well, she really likes... kissing me.”
You swallowed a sob, moving your piece and nodding slowly.
“I understand why,” you whispered in a terribly low voice.
“Scusi?” she asked, concentrating on your move. “Did you say something, (Y/N)?”
“No, nothing, I was just... thinking about my next move,” you lied, erratically moving another of the pieces. “I guess it's wonderful to have someone so affectionate by your side.”
“It is, of course it is,” Donna sighed, with a tender smile.
Nothing that happened that afternoon was out of the ordinary. The conversations with Donna usually traveled between unimportant experiences or... well, or compliments and words of love from the brunette to her girl.
Anya must have been the most wonderful girl in the world, or at least she was to Donna. The lady never got tired of talking about her, praising her… You might think it was almost unbearable to spend time with her just to hear about her girlfriend, but it wasn't like that. You were her only friend, or her only truly close contact, surely the only one who listened to her.
You loved Donna hopelessly. Even if her words weren't about you, they were her words, it was her voice.
Another afternoon of soft laughter, another night of dreams and fantasies about her. At some point you should realize the mistake you made by falling in love with Donna Beneviento, the delay in your confession, the theft of her heart by that beautiful girl.
Donna was crazy about her, she always told you so innocently, without knowing the damage she was doing to you, without wanting to know, perhaps.
The days passed and your visits could be summed up in chess games or comments about how fabulous Anya was. Angie's words echoed in your head.
Naturally, the Angie doll was jealous and distrustful, but the insinuation that she would prefer you to be Donna's girlfriend... You just couldn't get it out of your head.
“Thank you, Mrs. Fritz,” you said pleasantly, after doing your daily shopping in the village.
“Give my regards to your parents, dear,” the woman said, making you smile before setting off on your way back home.
You didn't live as isolated as Donna, but you had a nice walk to the orchards, a walk you always enjoyed.
���Shh, hey, Anya...” a male voice caught your attention as you walked.
Behind one of the crumbling walls of the orchards, there was a boy hiding, gesturing to a young woman who seemed to walk slowly, looking around.
You recognized her immediately: Anya, Donna's girlfriend. You weren't usually a gossipy girl, but this situation was a out of the ordinary, so you slowly camouflaged yourself in the wheat fields, behind a stone wall.
“Sergei…” Anya sighed, looking cautiously as she approached the boy. You had to quickly crouch down as they both looked in your direction.
“Has anyone followed you?” the young man asked, grabbing the girl's hands while you peeked discreetly.
“Of course not, you know I'm careful,” Anya said, letting that boy grab her waist and… kiss her, kiss her passionately.
“Shit,” you whispered, covering your mouth with your hands, blinking in bewilderment at the sight before you. It couldn't be, it just couldn't be.
“I've missed you, I thought you came back every night,” the boy said, kissing her repeatedly. “Did she trick you into staying again?”
“No, she knows I need some room and… well, thank goodness, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to see you,” Anya said, leaving you more and more confused.
“This situation is awkward, Anya, I can't stand to think what you do with… with her,” he said, with an angry gesture. “To think that you kiss her, that you… Gods, Anya, you have to end this.”
“Do you think it makes me happy to be with that nutcase? That I have another option?” Donna's girlfriend asked, crossing her arms. “You knew what the situation is.”
“I know but… maybe if you talk to Mother Miranda and…”
“I've already told you, Sergei, I would never dare to contradict her, besides, it's not difficult to fool the idiot Beneviento, we can still see each other,” she said, leaving you frozen on the ground.
“Yes, but for how long?” the boy asked, resting his hands on the shoulders of the girl, who sighed with a sad look.
“I don't know, but... I promise I'll fix it, I promise you,” she said, with a much more genuine smile than the one you had seen in the mansion as if she really... were in love with that boy, as if she didn't care about Donna.
Your trembling legs moved nervously, accidentally stepping on a dry branch, which alerted the lovers.
“You better go, Sergei, I'll call you when I'm free,” Anya said, gesturing for the boy to leave.
He did, and you stood up from your hiding place, terribly furious.
That perfect girlfriend that Donna adored was a farce, a lie. You wanted to throw yourself at her, pull her hair, yell at her for cheating on the love of your life, but you didn't dare to do it. You were just a coward, but something inside your head prevented you from letting that discovery go, and you started walking towards her.
“You,” you said, getting her attention, walking through the orchards. The girl didn't move. She just frowned at you, as if she hadn't recognized you at first.
“Hi, you're (Y/N), right?” she said with a fake smile, with a somewhat cocky pose. “How are you?”
“Great, I just found out what you're doing to Donna,” you said without wasting time, pointing at her in an unpleasant way.
“Please…” she sighed, rolling her eyes, with no intention of denying the evidence. “Are you surprised?”
“What? You're Donna's girlfriend, of course it surprises me. How dare you to cheat on her?” you said defiantly, dropping your bags on the snowy ground. “She loves you very much, did you know that?”
“Of course I know… unfortunately,” she muttered with a look of disgust. “Hey, vegetable girl, I hope you're not thinking of spilling the beans.”
“What do you expect me to do?” you asked furiously, hating that stupid girl even more. Angie was right.
“Mm, well, okay, let's talk, shall we?” she said, helping you pick up the bags from the ground and handing them to you kindly.
“There's nothing to talk about, it's all very clear,” you hissed, moving away from her, who shook her head, sighing tiredly.
“Six months ago, Mother Miranda asked me to go to church,” the girl began to tell, as if you were really listening to her. “Naturally I was willing to do whatever she asked me to do.”
“What are you talking about?” you wanted to know, stopping your steps.
“She told me that her youngest daughter, Lady Beneviento, was going through a rough patch, that she was very lonely and… well, she was afraid that she would decide to do something stupid. You and I know that Beneviento is not right in the head.”
“Don't insult her,” you growled, clenching your fists. “Don't you dare to insult her.”
“I'm just telling the truth, (Y/N), denying that she is sick would be stupid,” Anya said, with a serious expression.
“That doesn't matter, it doesn't matter at all,” you said in a low voice, looking away from Anya.
“Mother Miranda thought it would be a good idea to give her… well, some fun, I don't know if you know what I mean,” she explained with a sinister look. “Understand me, my family is poor, and I need all the appreciation of the Black Gods. At first I just had to go to Beneviento's house and have sex with her but… well, it didn't turn out as I expected.”
“How disgusting,” you said nervously, running a hand over your forehead.
“The stupid Donna fell in love with me and far from considering my work finished, Mother Miranda asked me to play along, to be with her so she wouldn't feel so terribly alone.”
“And you accepted,” you hissed, looking at her out of the corner of your eye.
Anya sighed and nodded, with a calm look.
“I assumed it was okay to play pretending to have feelings for her, surely Miranda would think that Donna would get tired of me, but… obviously she didn't,” the young woman said, lowering her gaze.
“You're stupid, Anya, you're playing with poor Donna's feelings, aren't you ashamed?” you accused, unable to believe her words.
“Poor Donna? What's so much affection for her about? You only bring her vegetables, don't you?” she asked, frowning at your revealing attitude.
“I've known Do... Lady Beneviento since I was 5 years old,” you explained, running a hand through your hair.
“I see... you know her... well,” the girl said with a sinister laugh. “Well, you should know, vegetable girl: I don't care about her. I just want to get on with my life and get away from her so I can be with my boyfriend.”
“I assumed so,” you said mockingly. “But do you know what you're doing? You're playing with her feelings, Donna loves you and...”
“I don't feel the same,” the young woman sighed, leaning against a wall. “It's very easy to judge others, isn't it? You don't understand my situation, vegetable girl. I can't do anything.”
“Of course you can, you must tell her,” you said, in a calmer tone. “She has to know the truth.”
“Wrong, silly girl,” she said, arching her eyebrows. “If I tell that nutcase that I don't love her, that it's all been a lie, I'm dead.”
“She adores you, she would never hurt you,” you said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “She loves you madly, she wouldn't dare to…”
“What are you saying? Are you saying that I should go to her house and tell her that it's all been a lie? Seriously, girl, where did you come from?”
“It's better than her finding out on her own, don't you think? If you want to get away from her so much… it must be you,” you said, without thinking too much.
“Why do you care so much about that crazy woman?” Anya asked, making you back away.
“My reasons are… only mine,” you murmured. “I don't want her to suffer.”
“You don't want her to suffer... if I didn't know that no one could feel anything for Donna, I would think that you were terribly in love with her,” Anya mocked, shaking her head.
“You're wrong,” you murmured in a dark tone. “You have to end this, Anya, for your own sake.”
“Mm, maybe I'll think about it, she's unbearable, you know?” Anya said in an unpleasant tone, moving away from the wall and passing by you. “It might not be such a bad idea, after all.”
“You are unbearable,” you growled when the girl walked away.
That conversation, that revelation fell on you like a bucket of cold water, freezing you, leaving you completely lost. You didn't feel joy or relief, only sadness for Donna. She was crazy about Anya, she would give her life for her if she asked. She was madly in love.
Breaking her heart, telling her what you had seen wasn’t in your plans, but you didn't want to go back to the mansion either, not when you knew that those kisses they gave each other were fake ones. You decided to get away for a while, just for a while, until you could forget that horrible truth and stop being tempted to reveal it.
“Honey, something's wrong,” your mother commented at dinnertime, surely looking at your sad expression. You faked a smile and shook your head.
“Mm, your mother is right, (Y/N), what is it…?”
Your father couldn't finish the question, as the phone rang to interrupt that attempt at interrogation.
“Hello,” your father said, picking up the phone, immediately moving it away from his ear, due to some loud, high-pitched screams coming out of it. “Hello? Who's speaking? Are you a little girl? Hey, listen…”
“What's wrong?” you asked, getting up from your chair and approaching slowly.
“It’s for you, (Y/N),” your father said, handing you the phone. “She must be a friend of yours.”
“A friend?” you asked, bringing it close to your ear and recognizing the screams. Angie. “Who is it?”
“Oh, it's you, thank goodness…” the doll said, with her voice distorted by a terrible cry that sounded in the distance. “(Y/N), you have to come, now.”
“Angie? What's wrong?” you asked somewhat scared, with your family looking at you with intrigue.
“There's no time to explain it to you, silly! Come, run, come! Donna is completely out of her mind!” the doll shrieked, before hanging up.
“D-Donna?” you asked, hanging up scared and looking at your family. Something had happened, something had happened to Donna.
“What's wrong, honey?” your mother asked as you ran out of the house. “(Y/N)!?”
You didn't pay attention to her calls. You just limited yourself to running without looking back. You didn't know what had happened, but Donna needed your help, and you had to give it to her.
In record time you arrived at the dimly lit mansion. The door was open and agonizing sobs echoed off the walls.
“It's about time!” Angie shouted, welcoming you and pulling your hand to guide you to the living room. “Quick!”
The sight before you shattered your heart. Donna, the lady in black, was sitting on the floor, her head between her legs, pulling at her hair as she sobbed inconsolably. All around her were traces of fury, of broken furniture. Something terrible had happened. Donna had lost her mind again.
“Donna...” you sighed, cautiously approaching the lady, who roared, cried and kicked the air without moving from the floor, muttering something you couldn't understand. “Gods, Donna, your hand,” you said when you saw her blood stained knuckles, looking at Angie sharply. “What happened?”
“Just like I told you, that whore wasn't trustworthy! She left my Donna!” the doll shrieked, approaching her owner. “My Donna is very nervous, she's having a very bad crisis, you have to help her! She doesn't listen to me anymore.”
“Anya's gone?” you asked, blinking in confusion.
“She left me!” Donna shrieked, making you look at her. “She didn't love me, she never loved me!” she screamed, pulling at her hair again, something you tried to stop.
“No, Donna, stop… don't hurt yourself,” you said, fighting against her sudden movements, against her nervous kicks. “Shh, Donna, please… I'm so sorry, darling…”
“Troietta! You bitch!” the lady shrieked, attacking you as if you were the girl who broke her heart, throwing herself at you, struggling.
“Donna, Donna, no!” Angie screamed, pushing the lady off of you with a thud.
You had to admit that you were scared, but you made a superhuman effort to stay calm, to soothe her wounded heart.
“No, darling, please stop…” you said, grabbing her shoulders, pulling her body towards yours to hug her tightly. “It's over, Donna… Shh… it's over…”
“Porca miseria!” the lady shrieked, trying to release herself from your embrace until, thanks to your strength and mental advantage in the situation, the poor lady calmed down, staying close to you, crying at your chest.
“Shh…” you whispered while, sitting on the floor, you tenderly rocked Donna, calming her down little by little. “Shh, it's over Donna… I'm here with you… calm down… that's it… very good, very good, Donna, relax with me…”
“Listen to her, Donna, she's here, (Y/N) has come to help you,” Angie said, carefully approaching your embraced bodies, the soft maternal movements with which you rocked her.
The sobs were horrible, piercing, but little by little they stopped sounding, being nothing but an agonizing lament while you rubbed her hair, keeping her head on your chest.
“Shhh, Donna…” you whispered softly, wiping her tears and moving her away from you when you saw she was feeling better.
“Mm?” the lady murmured, slowly pushing you away, her eye was red from crying and her cheek full of tears. Donna blinked confused at the sight of you, running a hand through her hair. “(Y/N)… what… what are you doing here?” she asked with a thick accent, looking at you suspiciously, disoriented.
“Angie called me a while ago, she said you had lost your mind,” you explained with a soft voice, while she got up from the floor in pain, sitting on the couch, looking at you briefly.
“I don't…” she stammered, still confused, shaking her head. “(Y/N)… I…”
“Relax, I'm here,” you said with a tender smile, sitting next to her and glancing at her hand. “Did you break a glass again? Wow, you have a serious wound, Donna…”
She looked away, embarrassed, but letting you play with her injured hand.
“You shouldn't be here,” the lady whispered with a dark voice, looking at you shyly. “I could have hurt you. I-If I lose you too, I'll...”
“You haven't,” you said, daring to run a hand over her cheek. “You won't lose me…” you whispered softly, looking at the doll again. “Angie, bring the first aid kit, please.”
Once again in silence, you healed the wound the lady had self-inflicted. The sound of the wind and slight moans of pain were the only atmosphere in that place, until the lady glanced at you out of the corner of her eye as you bandaged her hand.
“Anya left me,” Donna whispered in a sad voice, gripping the fabric of the sofa tightly. “She came this afternoon and told me that… she didn't love me.”
You looked at her, but repressed any attempt to speak.
“Mother Miranda sent her to pretend that she loved me, to make me believe that I wasn't alone,” the brunette explained, nervous, but at the same time, calm.
“I'm so sorry, Donna,” you said in a whisper, tying the bandages tightly. “I couldn't imagine that…”
“I did, I should have realized,” she said, looking away with a nervous moan. “I should have realized!”
“Shh, don't yell anymore, honey…” you whispered in a sweet voice, caressing her injured hand. “You must get over it.”
“How am I supposed to do that?” Donna asked, shaking her head. “I-It's all been a lie… She cheated on me!”
“I'm sorry,” you said with a broken voice, feeling guilty for knowing it, and not having warned her before. “I'm so sorry, Donna.”
“I must look pathetic, right?” she said with a sinister smile, panting nervously. “How pathetic is Donna, who needs you to pay her a whore so she doesn't feel so alone, because, of course, no one could ever love her.”
“Don't say that, it's not true,” you said, holding back your tears, calming the doll maker's madness with your touch. “That's a lie, do you hear me?”
“You...” she hissed, moving away from your caresses, abruptly getting up from the sofa. “Is that why you came? She also sends you!” she shrieked, pointing at you with a deranged gesture. “You're a liar! Bugiarda!”
“No, Donna, that's not true, I came to help you,” you said nervously, somewhat scared. “You are… you are…”
“What am I? A moron who doesn't deserve to be loved? Poor Donna, she needs a toy to play with and not to think about the shitty life she has, right? You whores, you're all sluts! Sluts!”
“No, Donna, you're wrong, I…” you said trembling, putting your hands in a defensive position.
“What are you doing here then?! Why are you pretending to care about me? Huh? Talk, bitch!” Donna shouted, grabbing you by the collar of your dress.
“Silly Donna, let her go!” Angie said, fearing that her fury would be launched against you. “Donna, Donna…”
“I… I care about you because… because I'm in love with you,” you said with a broken voice, stammering and preventing her hands from applying more force, from hurting you. “I love you, Donna, I've always loved you.”
“What?” she asked, frowning and letting you go immediately. “What…?”
“I'm sorry to tell you in a situation like this, but if you're going to kill me… I want you to know what I feel for you, for longer than I'd like to admit…” you said, squeezing your eyes tightly, waiting for a nightmare that never came.
Again, the silence caused the atmosphere to become tense. Donna moved away from you, looking at you with distrust, breathing with difficulty.
“It's not true, you don't…” she murmured nervously, looking at you briefly and moving confused. “It can't be true.”
“I don't care if you don't believe me, I understand that you don't, but I want, I want you to know that you are a wonderful and beautiful woman and... you can say whatever you want, but you have made me fall in love with you, Donna, what I feel for you is what you have done, being who you are. Don't think that it's not possible for someone to fall in love with you, to want to give you their heart because I... have already done it.”
Saying those last words, ensuring your confession, you slowly stood up ready to leave the mansion, to leave poor Donna alone.
“A-Aspetta, (Y/N)” Donna interrupted, before you walked out the door. “Wait, please.”
You turned slowly, scared of the consequences of your confession.
“You...” she whispered, approaching with a slow step, with her chest rising and falling quickly, with her gaze lost. “Are you telling the truth?”
“Yes, Donna,” you sighed, wiping away a tear. “I would understand if you didn't want to see me again, I'll tell my father to take care of…”
“N-No, no, wait a moment,” she said, shaking her head, grabbing your arms, very tightly, but without any intention of hurting you. “You… you've always been with me… always.”
You nodded, suppressing the trembling of your body.
“I-I remember you took care of me when I lost my mind, and how you played with Angie when you were little,” Donna said, with a distracted look, but speaking without stuttering. “You were the vegetable girl, but for me you were something else, you know?”
“A fool,” you said amused, sobbing.
“No, you… you were my only friend… you were always there when I needed you, you never cared about my appearance and… you've never abandoned me. (Y/N), is it possible that you're telling me the truth? That you really have feelings for me?”
“I would never lie to you Donna, to me you were much more than a friend or a Lord,” you whispered, looking away, noticing how her grip loosened.
“You have always understood me,” she said, getting a little closer, moving her hand erratically to your cheek. “Angie was right… I-I was so blind with… with her that… I wasn't able to see that you were the only one who was by my side.”
“I will be if you want me to be, always, Donna,” you said in a very low voice, with her too close to you.
“Don't leave, (Y/N)… stay with me,” she asked you, squeezing your hand in hers. “Let me… let me… love you as you have always deserved…”
“Donna…” you sighed, letting yourself be carried away by the gentle swaying of your bodies. “You don't love me.”
“I may not have known until now,” she whispered, coming closer, placing her lips on yours, a sensation so dreamed, so imagined, that you already knew what it was like, but not how it made you feel.
A tender, salty and slow kiss… It was a quiet, calm kiss, emphasized by her caresses, a kiss that you didn’t expect, that you wanted, even at a time like that.
In that horrible and sad way, with a doubtful but sincere confession, her relationship with that poor girl ended, and one with you began.
At first you were suspicious that her love was real. Anya was too recent and Donna was resentful. It didn't take long for you to realize that you were wrong.
Donna was romantic, sweet, understanding and tender. Being her girlfriend was the best thing that had ever happened to you, you had never felt so loved, so cherished.
It was simply impossible, it was impossible for the lady in black to treat you so well after that breakup. Happiness occupied your entire life, you even moved in with her, but doubts also haunted your mind.
Every night, after the passion, came the thoughts, the fears, those horrible memories about Anya, about the admiration Donna felt for her, the love she had for her. You didn't know what that fake relationship was like inside, but, somehow, you felt inferior to that stupid girl.
Little by little, the pressure you put on your mind took its toll on you. Your movements and attempts to surprise Donna were almost pathetic and… over time, you started to look like that stupid girl, or try to.
The doll maker had no friends, she only had you. She wouldn't talk to anyone about how much she loved you, so you would never know if you had gotten over that stupid girl in some way, and that… that was killing you.
“Come on…” you said comically, trying to fit into a tight, provocative dress, one very similar to the one her ex-girlfriend used to wear.
Maybe your doubts were stupid, but they were doubts, and you had to do everything you could to not think they were justified.
“Okay, that's it,” you said, looking at yourself in the mirror. “I-I can see everything but... well, I guess Donna will like it,” you said, finishing getting ready for a special occasion, the celebration of your 6 months together.
“Here you go, amore mio,” Donna said, serving you dinner and wine elegantly, looking at you out of the corner of her eye and making a strange expression.
“Thank you, darling,” you said with a tender smile, putting yourself in a position that clearly exaggerated your feminine attributes.
“Um, yes, um...” she said nervous and confused.
Smiles, caresses and words of love accompanied you throughout the dinner, but, after dessert, a small moment of awkwardness formed.
Normally you didn't mind Donna looking at your breasts, you even found it funny, but that look was different than other times, very different.
“Donna, are you looking at my tits?” you asked amused, encouraged by the wine. “Do you like them?”
“Y-Yes, of course, you know I love your body, (Y/N),” she said, looking away, without her usual smile.
“You don't seem to like my dress very much,” you whispered distrustfully, with a sad sigh.
“Oh, yes I... just... (Y/N), what are you wearing?” she asked finally, crossing her arms.
You looked at yourself and shrugged with an amused smile.
“It's new,” you said in a seductive voice.
“I see but... You... you don't usually wear that kind of clothes,” Donna commented, with a cold look.
“Yeah but… I thought, I thought you would like it,” you said in a fearful whisper.
“(Y/N), you're… very strange lately, you don't want to play chess, you wear… those things… it seems like something's wrong with you.”
“I'm the same as always,” you said in your defense, with a somewhat dangerous tone and look.
“No, that's not true, you've changed…” she said, shaking her head. “It seems like you're trying to be like…”
“Well, so what if I do? You loved her a lot, didn't you? I have nothing to do with her, you'll never love me that much,” you said, bringing your worries to light.
“(Y/N),” the lady sighed, getting up and approaching you while resting two fingers on your chin. “I like the way you are, do you hear me? I don't want you to be like her, I don't love her. She was stupid and she never wanted to do anything that I liked. She could never, ever compare to you, (Y/N), I've never loved anyone as much as you, only you, and always you... do you understand? I love you, you are the love of my life, you always will be.”
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hii! do you think you could write cg!draco x little!reader? reader is a ravenclaw and everyone's super surprised when she goes to sit next to draco at slytherin table at breakfast
thank you for requesting. i´m sorry it took awhile haha. i hope you like it :) im sorry if its not the best
word count: 587
summery: when a ravenclaw surprises everyone by going over to a particular blonde boy for breakfast
Strange looks.
Cg!Draco x little!reader
y/n woke up in her private dorm feeling little and happy. She throws the blankets off her walking over to her closet, grabbing her black and blue robes. Humming a song while she gets dressed she thinks of seeing her daddy in the great hall for breakfast, speeding up her usual morning routine before leaving her dorm. The common room only had a couple students in there, she assumes the rest of the ravenclaw house is either still sleeping or already at breakfast.
On her way to the great hall y/n was smiling ear to ear excited to see draco. When she gets closer she can hear everyone, and starts skipping to get there faster. Once there she looks over at the slytherin table trying to find the head of white hair that she knows so well. When she spots him, she grins before skipping over to the slytherin table causing every other table to look at her. y/n is a sweet ravenclaw why is she going over to that table? They think.
When she walks up behind Draco she could hear all the confused whispers and feel the stares in the back of her head but she couldn't care less as she wrapped her arms around Draco´s shoulders feeling him tense up before realizing who was hugging him. “Hello my love” he says turning to look at her, she kisses his cheek “good morning” she says happily while sitting down next to him biting her lip, looking at the food with wide eyes.
Draco leans towards her and whispers in her ear “are you little right now baby?” watching as she grabs some porridge before looking at him. She nods at him slowly while taking a bite of her food. Draco smiles and puts his arm around her waist pulling her closer to him. He looks around the great hall to see almost everyone staring at them, before turning back to y/n “you know everyones staring at us right little one?” he says quietly to her causing her to look around and shrug “i don't care. I'm wifh you daddy i'm safe” she says quietly even though there's nobody sitting near them like always, there both still cautions not wanting people to know stuff about their lives.
When Draco hears that leave her mouth he can't help the huge smile that spreads across his face. The thought that she trusts Draco enough to let him be her caregiver and now knowing that she feels safe when she's with him, like nothing can hurt her is just the best thing ever to him.
While he was lost in his thoughts y/n held up her spoon with some of the porridge on it. “Try dis daddy its really good” she says poking his lips with the spoon until he opens his mouth. He hums and tells her it's the best thing he's ever eaten. She goes back to eating while draco just stares at her with nothing but love in his eyes, kissing her temple he says “i love you sweet girl” she looks up at him smiling “i love you too daddy” she says going to kiss his cheek but he stops her causing her to pout “let me wipe your face baby you have porridge all over your face” he says laughing a little.
Once he's done wiping her face, he taps his cheek and she kisses him instantly before going back to eating.
#little!reader#age regression#age regressor#cg!draco#draco malfoy#draco x reader#slytherclaw#slytherin#harry potter#harry potter movies#request
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Drummer Boys, Reindeer and Romance
My Secret Santa gift for @mie779

Merry Christmas @mie779 - I'm your Secret Santa this year! I was very excited to get your name and I hope you like the story and pic set I created for you. I tried to work in some of your favorite things. Hope you have a wonderful holiday season!
Many thanks to @hookedmom who took time out from a busy holiday season to beta for me.
With this story, I can cross off one square on my Winter Bingo Board. Stories in that collection can be found here

Story Summary: An empty seat at an elementary school Christmas pageant creates an opportunity for Killian Jones to meet Emma Swan. As they chat between songs, they feel drawn to each other, but Killian has to be brave enough to ask Emma out…and she has to be brave enough to accept.
Rating: G
Words (Chapter 1/1): 5899
Can also be found on Ao3 and ffn
Stories in the CS Secret Santa 2024 collection can be found here
Story begins under the cut
*********
“Pardon me, lass. Is that seat taken?”
Emma Swan looked up from the program she had been scanning, to see a man standing in the aisle of the auditorium, looking at her expectantly.
“Excuse me?” she asked.
“I was wondering if you were saving the seat beside you for someone.”
She glanced at the empty seat to her left. “Uh, no. I’m not saving it for anyone.”
After an awkward pause, he asked, “In that case, would you mind if I sit there?”
“Oh, sorry.” She stood up, letting him pass in front of her.
When they were settled in their seats, he said, “Thanks very much.” Holding out his hand, he added, “Killian Jones.”
“Emma Swan,” she responded, shaking his hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I don’t think I’ve seen you around Storybrooke before.”
“I live in Portland. I visit from time to time, and stay at my brother Liam’s house when I do. I’m here to watch his and Elsa’s daughters. They’re the two cutest reindeer.”
“Missy and Alice are your nieces? They’re in my son Henry’s class. In fact, I think he has a crush on one of them.”
“Which one?”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure. They both look alike to me.”
“Well,” he chuckled, “that’s quite common with identical twins.”
She laughed. “You have a point there.”
“Is your son also a reindeer?”
“I wish,” she sighed. “Reindeer are quiet. My son is the little drummer boy. My friend is the music teacher and I’m pretty sure she cast him in that role intentionallly. Her husband has been dying to buy Henry a drum set ever since he was a toddler, but I keep telling him absolutely not. Of course, once my son got the part, he had to practice, so Mary Margaret sent a snare drum home with him. I can hardly wait until this program is over, so I can get that freaking thing out of my house. I love my kid, but he’s driving me crazy with it!”
Killian’s grin stretched wider across his handsome face. “Well, I can assure you that reindeer are not quiet. At least, not in Alice and Missy’s case.”
“I’m sure having two ten-year-olds in the house can be very loud. I only have one and sometimes I swear he’s trying to split my eardrums.”
“With his drum,” Killian smirked.
“You’re hilarious,” Emma groaned sarcastically, rolling her eyes. However, she couldn’t help grinning a little at his attempt to make a joke.
“Are you, uh, are you sure I’m not taking…anyone’s seat?” he asked tentatively.
“If you’re talking about Henry’s father, he won’t be coming. He lives in New York City with his other family. Henry only gets to see him a couple of times a year.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Don’t be. The less time Henry spends with his dad, the smaller the chance Henry will act like him. After six years, he’s used to taking a back seat to Neal’s other kids.”
She opened the paper she was holding again, scanning the information typed inside. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Killian leaning in slightly to have a look at it, too.
“Didn’t they give you a program at the door?” she asked.
“They were out by the time I got here. I left work as soon as I could, but barely made it. Liam and Elsa weren’t expecting me to come tonight, so they didn’t save a seat for me.”
Emma swiped across her phone to look at the time. “They’re getting started a few minutes late. That’s typical for Mary Margaret because she wants everything to be perfect. She’s probably still gluing cotton balls onto Santa’s beard.” Scooting over in her seat a couple of inches, she held the program between them. “I’ll share with you. Looks like Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer is the next-to-last song.”
Killian perused the offered page. “Your drummer boy looks to be the star of the third song.”
“Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum,” she intoned. He chuckled.
The lights dimmed and Mary Margaret hurried onto the stage as the crowd applauded.
“Show time,” Emma commented, then straightened in her seat to listen as her friend welcomed everyone.
*********
Killian shifted in the cushioned chair and tried to focus on what the lovely, pixie-haired teacher was saying. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to pay attention; rather, it was the distraction of the beautiful woman to his right which was occupying his mind. Through no fault of her own, she was making it very difficult for him to concentrate on the acknowledgements of all of the people responsible for helping with the elementary school Christmas pageant.
When she looked up at him after he inquired about the empty seat beside her, he was instantly struck by her beauty. It had been a long time since he gave any woman a second glance. Having his heart broken three years before caused him to swear off of women for good, and he stuck to it.
He may have to rethink that.
Being intrigued by her looks was one thing, but when she began conversing with him, he was struck by how easy it was to talk to her. She was witty and sarcastic, and put him at ease immediately.
When he verified that he wasn’t taking anyone’s seat, it was also his subtle way of asking if she was in a relationship. He had discreetly checked her ring finger and saw it was bare, but wanted further assurance. He was probably assuming too much by thinking her answer about her ex was proof she was indeed single, because she could be dating someone else. But if she was, that man would surely show up to her son’s Christmas pageant, wouldn’t he?
As crazy as it sounded, after knowing her for all of five minutes, Killian was seriously thinking of asking her out.
*********
Emma could feel the nearness of the man beside her and, shockingly enough, she didn’t mind at all. In fact, she actually found herself leaning toward him.
Her friend Elsa mentioned her brother-in-law to Emma several times, but she had never met him or seen a picture of him. If she had, she definitely would have remembered, because the man was ridiculously handsome. She probably seemed like an idiot when he asked about the empty seat beside her and she didn’t tell him he could sit there right away. She was simply gobsmacked when she looked up at him and had trouble getting her mind to work.
Fortunately, once he sat down, words were easier and the conversation she had with him was very enjoyable. She found herself wishing he had gotten there sooner, so they could have had more time to chat before the pageant began. It had been quite a while since she actually wanted more time to talk to a man. Usually, she wanted them to shut up and leave her alone.
Finding someone to date in Storybrooke was not an easy feat. Not that she put much effort into it. After what she went through with Neal, she swore off dating altogether. He not only broke her heart by leaving her for another woman, he told her he never loved her in the first place and the only reason he stayed with her as long as he did was because she was careless enough to get pregnant. He didn’t seem to realize that he had a little something to do with her ending up in that condition, too. She didn’t regret it, though. Henry was the best thing that ever happened to her. She had been telling herself for years that she loved her kid and he was the only male she needed in her life.
How absurd was it for her to want a chance to get better acquainted with Killian Jones so soon after meeting him?
*********
Killian’s whirlpool of thoughts was interrupted when music began playing and the third and fourth grade students trooped onto the stage to stand on the risers, all of them dressed in homemade costumes for their various roles.
Leaning over, he quietly asked, “Which one is Henry?”
Emma pointed. “The one with the jeans chopped off at the knees, white shirt and a vest made out of a cut up paper bag. Real professional, huh? He reminded me last night that he needed a costume, so it’s the best I could do.”
“I think it’s very effective. He’s supposed to be a poor boy, right?”
They fell silent when a little girl dressed as Mrs. Claus stepped to the microphone to introduce the first song. As Killian tried to lay his elbow on the arm rest, he bumped Emma’s, which was already there.
“Sorry, Love,” he whispered, tucking his arm against his side.
“We can share,” she whispered back, scooting her arm over to give him some room. Under normal circumstances, he would have passed on the offer, but he quite liked how it felt to touch her. Once their elbows were both on the arm rest, he turned his attention back to the stage, where the students dressed as elves were lining up to lead the song Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas, while Mary Margaret was taking her seat behind the piano.
“You were right,” Emma muttered. “Your nieces are the cutest reindeer.”
“Of course they are. They take after their uncle,” he cheeked.
Mary Margaret launched into the accompaniment before Emma could reply.
Frosty the Snowman followed, with students dressed as snow people spinning and dancing on the stage. One snowman twirled himself dizzy and almost fell off of the stage. Luckily, David was quick on his feet, catching the little boy and preventing disaster.
“I can guarantee I’ll hear about what a hero he was for days from Mary Margaret,” Emma remarked as they clapped at the end of the song.
“Your boy is up next,” Killian reminded her.
“Oh, yeah,” she said, scrambling to pull her phone out of her purse.
“Would you like me to take the video so you can sit back and enjoy his performance?”
She looked at him. “You wouldn’t mind?”
“Not at all. It would be my pleasure.”
Emma quickly unlocked her phone, pulled up the camera app and set it to video. “You know how to do this, right?”
He chuckled as he took it from her hands. “Don’t worry, Swan. I’m a twenty-first century man, so I do know a fair amount about technology.”
Henry took his place behind the snare drum and smiled widely at his mom. However, once the song started, he was all business, taking his drum solo very seriously. After filming the entire group of students during the first verse, Killian zoomed in on Henry for the rest of the song, capturing his solemn expression as he struck the drum in perfect rhythm.
At the conclusion of the song, Killian turned the phone toward Emma, who was clapping loudly and shouting, “Way to go, kid!” Through the lens, Killian could see the sheen of proud tears in her eyes. He didn’t stop filming until she turned to him to get her device back.
“Thank you,” she said. “I’m glad I could enjoy it without having to watch him through my phone screen.”
“No problem,” he assured her. “He did a wonderful job. He just might have a future as a drummer in a band.”
“I hope he’s out on his own by then if he does. I don’t think I could handle all of the practicing.”
Killian chuckled and settled back in his seat to enjoy the next two songs. When it was time for the reindeer to take their place at the front of the stage, he dug his own phone out of the front pocket of his jeans.
“Here, I’ll return the favor,” Emma said, reaching for the phone. “Enjoy your nieces’ performance.”
“Thanks, Love,” he said gratefully.
The song went well until one of the twins accidentally stepped on the other one’s foot, who then pushed the unwitting culprit. A short shoving match ensued between the two of them, until Mary Margaret snapped her fingers at them with one hand, while continuing to play the piano with the other.
Killian scanned the crowd to find his brother and sister-in-law. Liam was trying, and failing, to keep a grin off of his face, while Elsa scowled ferociously at her rowdy daughters.
The rest of the song went on without further incident. When Emma handed his phone back, Killian remarked, “I think the girls might be in for it after this is over.”
“Yeah, Elsa looks pretty peeved.”
“Do you know her?”
“We got to know each other through the PTO, and we’ve become pretty good friends.”
“PTO?” he questioned.
“Parent-teacher organization. We do fundraisers to give the school and staff extra things the district doesn’t provide. We also sponsor fun events for students and their parents, like skating parties and bingo nights.”
“It sounds very beneficial,” Killian commented.
Mary Margaret announced that the final song was Silent Night and after the students sang it through once, the audience was encouraged to join in.
The children, who had just sung Rudolph loudly and exuberantly, now sang the beloved carol with great reverence. A hush fell over the crowd as they listened to the sweet voices. Killian turned his eyes toward Emma and saw her swallow hard, clearly trying to keep her emotions in check. He was a little emotional himself and he didn’t even have a child on the stage.
Killian added his rich baritone the second time through. He could hear Emma’s voice and wasn’t at all surprised that it was as lovely as the lady herself.
As the final notes faded away, she turned to look at him. He smiled and winked, beginning to clap with the rest of the audience. When the ovation was over, she quickly collected her coat and purse. “I have to go get Henry from his classroom. I…it was nice meeting you, Killian. Maybe we’ll see each other the next time you come to town.”
He looked stunned. “Aye, Swan, perhaps we will.”
With a final wave, she was gone, swallowed up by the crowd.
*********
As he watched her walk away, Killian felt like kicking himself. He just let her go, without asking her out or even requesting her phone number. He was sure he wasn’t the only one who felt the connection between the two of them, but now it was too late to act on it.
She did say she was Elsa’s friend, so perhaps he could get Emma’s information from his sister-in-law. That was less than ideal, but it might be his only option.
He sighed, grabbed his coat from the chair and set off to locate his family.
*********
Emma hated leaving the way she did, but she knew Henry would be waiting for her. Telling her son how proud she was of him, trumped hanging around to talk to Killian some more. She truly hoped she would run into him again, sometime.
She wished she would have been bold enough to ask him for his phone number. Of course, she could always get it from Elsa, but that would mean telling her friend she was interested in her brother-in-law. Emma didn’t really want to open that can of worms.
So as she fought her way through the crowd, disappointment rose up within her because she knew she was leaving behind the first guy who drew her interest in a very long time.
*********
“Where’s Elsa?” Killian asked, once he found Liam still occupying the seat he sat in during the performance.
“She went to get the girls. I offered, but she insisted. She may knock their heads together after their antics on stage.”
Killian laughed. “Never a dull moment with those two, is there?”
“Not a single one. Thanks for coming, brother,” Liam said, standing up to clap Killian on the shoulder.
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I told Missy and Alice I would try to make it and I didn’t want to let them down.”
“You’re a good uncle.”
“The best,” Killian smirked. Then his face took on a serious expression. “May I ask you something?”
“Sure. What’s on your mind?”
“Uh…how well do you know…Emma Swan?”
Liam’s brows raised. “She and Elsa are good friends, so I know her pretty well. Why do you ask?”
Killian scratched behind his ear. “I, um…I sat beside her this evening. I never met her before, but I…she…she seems very nice.”
Liam studied his brother for several moments. “Are you interested in her?” he queried.
His brother shrugged. “I just…we had a good conversation and I thought about…”
When he didn’t continue, Liam supplied, “Asking her out?”
Killian shrugged again. “I know. It’s a stupid idea. I mean, I just met her and we only talked for a few minutes, but…”
Liam stepped in front of him, placing both hands on his brother’s shoulders. “Killian, I know you had a rough go of it with Milah, but you can’t go through life never taking a chance again.”
“Emma probably wouldn’t accept…”
“You won’t know unless you try.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. She went to collect her son and then they’ll leave.”
“Then we’ll go find her before they do.”
“Liam…”
“Killian, a man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets.”
Killian considered his brother’s words for a few seconds. “You’re right. Let’s go see if she’s still here.”
The pair took off through the nearly empty auditorium. Liam led Killian down one hallway, then nearly ran into Elsa and the girls when they turned the corner.
“There are my lovely ladies,” Liam said, kissing first one of his daughters on the head, then the other. “Good job, my little reindeer.” Seeing the stern look Elsa was giving him, he added, “But perhaps next time you shouldn’t stand right next to each other.”
“It was Missy’s fault,” Alice began, before being cut off by her mother.
“I’ve already talked to you about this,” Elsa reprimanded. “You were both at fault and tomorrow, you will both apologize to Mrs. Nolan.”
“Yes, ma’am,” they chorused. Then they rushed to get a hug from their uncle.
“You came!” Alice cried.
“Told you he would,” Missy said. “Uncle Killy would never let us down, would you?”
“I can’t promise that I never will, but I’ll try my very best not to,” he assured them, one arm wrapped around each twin.
Liam pulled Elsa aside. “Did you see Emma?” he asked.
“Yes, she was picking up Henry at the same time I was getting the girls,” his wife answered. “Why?”
Lowering his voice so their daughters wouldn’t hear, he said, “Killian sat beside her during the performance and they seemed to hit it off. He was hoping to catch her before she left and ask her out.”
Elsa’s expression went from very excited to downcast. “I’m afraid they’re gone already.”
Killian caught what she said and his heart sank. He knew he missed his chance when he let her walk away.
Elsa saw the look on her brother-in-law’s face. “Girls, hug your uncle and tell him goodbye. I’m sure he needs to start back to Portland soon.”
Missy and Alice took turns getting big bear hugs from Killian, then Liam bid him goodbye and took the girls to the car, clearly aware that his wife wanted to talk to his brother alone.
Killian gave Elsa a questioning look. “What do you have up your sleeve?”
“Do you think Emma was attracted to you?”
He shrugged slightly. “I can’t say for sure, but we talked quite a bit and she seemed to like me.”
“The fact that she enjoyed talking to you leads me to believe she does. I love Emma, but she can be a bit prickly. I think you should ask her out.”
“Did you miss the part when you said she already left?”
“I’m going to give you her address, smart guy. Then you can go to her house.”
“Perhaps you should just give me her phone number instead.”
“You will not ask her out over the phone,” Elsa commanded. “That’s too impersonal.”
Killian nodded. “I see your point.” Pulling out his phone, he brought up Google Maps and typed in the address Elsa read from her contacts list. “It’s only a five minute drive.”
“Yes it is, which gives you less time to change your mind.” She gave him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. “Now get going. Call us when you’re on the way home and let us know what happened.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, saluting smartly. When she rolled her eyes at him, he grew serious. “Thank you, Elsa.”
“You’re welcome. Now go turn on your charm.”
*********
Ten minutes later, Killian pulled up in front of the small, unassuming house where the GPS led him. After cutting the engine, he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, contemplating whether or not he should go through with his plan.
His phone buzzed with an incoming text.
Liam: Remember what I told you. Don’t lose your nerve.
Killian shook his head and snorted out a laugh. Sometimes it was almost scary how well his brother knew him.
“The worst that can happen is she turns me down. I can survive that, right?” he muttered to himself. “Well, I guess we’ll find out.”
He unbuckled his seatbelt, threw open his car door and climbed out. Then he walked up the short sidewalk, lined with lighted plastic candy canes. After knocking on the front door, he nervously brushed one hand through his hair, then tugged at the bottom of his black leather jacket.
The door swung open and he found himself looking down at the little drummer boy, still dressed in his cut off jeans and white shirt, sans the paper bag vest. They looked at each other for a couple of seconds, then Henry turned and yelled, “Mom! Some guy is here!”
“Henry, what have I told you about answering the…” Emma’s words cut off suddenly when she came into view. “Killian?” she questioned disbelievingly.
“Uh, hi. I, um…I hope you don’t mind me stopping by,” he stammered.
She looked flabbergasted. “How did you know where I live?”
“Elsa gave me your address. I hope that was okay.”
Henry looked back and forth between the two adults. “Do you mean Mrs. Jones? Alice’s mom?”
“And Missy’s,” Emma added distractedly.
“How do you know Mrs. Jones?” Henry asked.
“Killian’s brother Liam is Elsa’s husband,” Emma explained. “Henry, please go turn the burner off under the hot cocoa so it won’t burn.”
“If it’s ready, can I pour some…”
“Absolutely not. Do not touch the pan or anything else; just the knob for the burner.”
“But I…”
She put her arm around his shoulders. “After you turn off the stove, why don’t you go ahead and put your pajamas on. Just give me a couple of minutes to speak to Mr. Jones, okay?”
“You did a fine job on your drum solo tonight, lad,” Killian said.
Henry’s face brightened. “Do ya really think so?”
“Aye. You were the star of the show.”
A wide grin split the boy’s face. “Thanks! I practiced a lot!”
“Your mother told me you did. Practice makes perfect, they say.”
“I guess so. We can be in band next year and I want to play percussion.”
Killian snuck a glance at Emma, who closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. With difficulty, he kept from laughing, before answering, “I’m sure you’ll enjoy that.”
“At least one of us will,” Emma mumbled, before reminding Henry about turning off the stove.
“Bye, Mr. Jones. Merry Christmas!” Henry shouted on his way out of the room.
“Merry Christmas to you, lad.”
“So, um, not to sound rude, but why are you here?” Emma asked as soon as they were alone.
He tried not to fidget as he thought of what to say. “I…I really enjoyed talking to you this evening.”
“I enjoyed talking to you, too.”
Encouraged, the corner of his mouth quirked up. “That’s good to hear. So, I was wondering if…if you would consider going out with me.”
“On a date?” she asked, brows shooting up.
“Aye, that’s the idea.”
“I can’t…”
Killian felt his stomach drop.
“...even remember the last time I went on a date.”
“Perhaps we should remedy that,” he suggested hopefully.
Emma pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing on it in contemplation. “I don’t know…”
“Go out with him, Mom!” Henry yelled from the kitchen.
“Really, kid?” Emma said, clearly exasperated.
Henry poked his head around the door frame. “I like him.”
“Weren’t you told to put your pajamas on?”
“I will. I just accidentally heard what Mr. Jones said.”
Emma crossed her arms and gave him a patented ‘mom look’. “Accidentally, huh?”
He shrugged. “I have good hearing.”
“Only when you want to have it,” she stated. “Now, go do as you were told.”
“Okay,” he sighed, trudging down the hallway to his room.
She turned back to Killian, dropping her arms to her sides. “Looks like you have my kid’s approval.”
He studied her for a few seconds. “What about you, Emma? Do I have your approval, too? Elsa said she would be happy to watch Henry for you if we go out.”
She hesitated, then lifted her chin decisively. “Yes, Killian. I would love to go out with you.”
*********
One year later…
Killian followed Emma down the aisle of the auditorium and grinned when he realized what seats she chose. After sitting down, he draped his arm around her shoulders and leaned over to murmur in her ear, “These seats seem familiar, Love.”
She snuggled against his side. “They’re very special, because this is where I met the love of my life.”
“What a coincidence,” he teased. “This is where I met mine, too.”
Elsa and Liam slid into the seats in front of them. “Hello, lovebirds,” Elsa grinned.
“Don’t encourage them,” Liam cautioned. “I already have to witness far too much PDA from those two.”
“You don’t have to watch, you know,” Killian said, lightly whacking the back of Liam’s head.
“Both of you behave,” Elsa said, as Emma giggled.
“Speaking of behaving,” Killian began, “do you think your daughters will make it through the concert without assaulting each other this year?”
“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Liam said. “I caught Missy trying to hit her sister over the head with her flute the other day.”
“Be happy it wasn’t the other way around,” Emma commented. “Alice could do some serious damage with her saxophone.”
They were still laughing when the fifth grade band shuffled onto the stage in all their Christmas finery, instruments held proudly in front of them. Emma and Killian immediately spotted Henry taking his place behind the snare drum. He smiled and gave them a quick wave before picking up his drumsticks.
“He looks so grown up,” Emma said quietly.
“Your little drummer boy isn’t very little anymore,” Killian observed fondly. He and Henry had a very close relationship and he loved the boy as his own.
“A lot has changed in the past year,” she sighed happily.
“Aye, Love. It’s been phenomenal in every way.”
Mary Margaret, who also instructed the fifth grade band along with teaching elementary music, walked out onto the stage, preparing to introduce their first song.
Emma settled against Killian’s side to enjoy the concert. A year ago, sitting in these very seats, neither of them could ever have imagined what that first meeting would mean to them.
As the band began playing Jingle Bells, Killian pulled Emma a little closer. His chest swelled with pride watching Henry concentrating on his music, as he beat out the rhythm on the drum. This year, Emma hadn’t had to endure his incessant practicing alone, since Killian moved in with them just before Thanksgiving.
Emma saw Killian glancing at his watch once the third and final song ended. “Are you anxious to leave? You know we still have to sit through the sixth grade and junior high bands, don’t you?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m aware. I was just trying to gauge what time it will be over.”
“I’d say the concert will last about an hour,” Liam threw over his shoulder.
Killian slumped a bit in his chair. Then he caught sight of Henry, who was sitting in a reserved section to their right with the rest of the fifth grade band. The boy beamed at him and gave him a thumbs up. Killian winked and returned his smile.
Last year, the evening of Henry’s concert ended with Killian asking Emma out on their first date. This year, he had a different question to ask when they got home, one for which Henry had already given his approval.
He hoped her answer would be the same as last year. If so, they would be sitting in these seats next year as husband and wife.
Kissing her temple, Killian impatiently waited for the sixth grade band to begin playing. He intertwined their fingers, imagining how her hand would look with the diamond engagement ring on it. When she turned her face up to look at him, love shining in her eyes, he knew the beauty of the diamond would pale in comparison to the lady wearing it.
*********
Liam’s estimate for the length of the concert was right on the nose. When they finally walked out of the auditorium, light snow was falling. The conversation in the car on the way home was warm and playful. Henry laughed about the sixth grade percussionist who dropped one of the cymbals in the middle of a song, and expressed his hope that when he got older, he would be the one to make the whip sound for Sleigh Ride.
“Lord, help us through seven more years of band,” Emma murmured under her breath, causing Killian to laugh, despite the nerves that were knotting his stomach.
As soon as they got home, Henry went into the kitchen to get the ingredients out for hot cocoa, dubbing it a tradition after the Christmas concert.
“Is it a tradition if this is only the second time we did it?” Emma asked.
“I don’t know,” Killian answered, “but I do know of another tradition that’s been around much longer.” He pointed at the top of the doorway between the living room and kitchen.
“When did you put mistletoe up there?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“This evening while you were getting dressed for the concert.”
“You’re very sneaky,” she said, leaning in until her lips were just a fraction of an inch away from his.
“And you love me for it,” he grinned.
“Mmhmm,” she hummed before kissing him.
“Pre-teen boy coming through,” Henry announced, squeezing past them. “I’m going to put my pajamas on. Please be done making out by the time I get back.”
Emma and Killian laughed into their kiss. “I think we’re scarring him for life,” he quipped.
“That’s what parents are for,” she replied.
Killian pulled back to look at her. “You consider me to be his parent?”
“You’re more of a father to him than Neal has ever been.”
He surged forward to kiss her again. When it finally ended, he asked, “Do you think Henry regards me that way, too?”
“I’m sure he does.”
“Does what?” Henry asked, re-entering the room, now dressed in plaid Christmas pajamas.
“Do you think of Killian as one of your parents?” Emma asked.
“Well, duh,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Can we make hot chocolate now?”
Emma tried to give Killian a look that said I told you so, but he was gazing at Henry with a sense of wonder over the boy’s declaration.
Once the cocoa was gone and Henry was off to bed, Killian and Emma lay together on the sofa. The living room was lit only by the gas fireplace and the lights from the Christmas tree, while Christmas music played softly.
“This is nice,” she sighed.
He hummed in agreement, stroking his hand up and down her back. His thoughts were preoccupied with the perfect way to propose, so he almost missed what she said next.
“Marry me, Killian.”
His hand on her back stilled as his mind registered what she just said. “Wh-what?”
She pushed up on her elbows to look into his face. “Marry me.”
“Swan, you’re depriving me of a dashing proposal!” he protested.
She cocked her head, studying him. “Are you serious?”
He slid out from under her to kneel on the floor in front of the couch, reaching into the pocket of his sleep pants to retrieve the ring and holding it up for her to see.
Her eyes widened as she swung her feet down to the floor. “Oh. My. God. You really were going to propose, weren’t you?”
“Aye.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“Mad? Why would I be mad? Since you asked me first, I’m pretty sure I know what your answer is going to be,” he chuckled.
“You still have to ask. That’s the rule.”
“Whose rule?”
“Mine. Now, let’s hear that dashing proposal.”
He grinned, then cleared his throat. “Emma, you and Henry have changed my life in every way possible. I never knew happiness like this even existed, let alone that it would happen to me. There aren’t enough words in this world to express how much I love you, but right now, there’s only one word I need to hear in response to this question - Emma Swan, will you marry me?”
Tears filled her eyes when she opened her mouth to answer, but emotion clogged her throat, so she nodded emphatically and threw her arms around him. As he held her tight, kissing her and murmuring words of love, she finally found her voice. “Yes, Killian, I will marry you! I love you so much!”
She pulled away, wiping at her eyes. “Henry and I are very lucky to have you in our lives. I know I’m speaking for him too when I say we want you to be part of our family forever.” Framing his face with her hands, she leaned in to kiss him again.
“Do you want the ring?” he asked against her lips.
She giggled and sat back, extending her left hand to him. He slid the ring into place and kissed her knuckle above it.
“It’s perfect,” she breathed.
“You are perfect, my love.”
“Says the man who complains when I leave wet towels on the floor,” she teased.
“Well…nearly perfect,” he grinned.
She held her hand up to admire the ring, the lights of the Christmas tree making the diamond glitter. “We’re engaged,” she said, awestruck.
“Mmhmm. Who would have thought that a little drummer boy and two feuding reindeer would bring us together and give us a happy ending?”
Her eyes met his, laughter and love dancing in them. “Best night of my life, hands down. Until today,” she amended.
Kissing the tip of her nose, he whispered, “Happy Christmas, wife-to-be.”
“Merry Christmas, husband-to-be.”
He stood up and took her hand to help her to her feet. Then they went to their bedroom to share the best gift of all - the love they had for each other.
*********
My heartfelt wishes for all of you to have a blessed and memorable Christmas!
Tagging:
@qualitycoffeethings @grimmswan @cs-rylie @wyntereyez @kmomof4
@hookedmom @ultraluckycatnd @paradiselady19 @xarandomdreamx @motherkatereloyshipper
@lfh1226-linda @pawshapedheart @vampcoffeegyrl23 @tiganasummertree @bluewildcatfanatic
@eleveneitherway @elfiola @kday426 @julieenchanted-swans @gingerchangeling
@andiirivera @djlbg @jonesfandomfanatic @snowbellewells @anmylica
@booksteaandtoomuchtv @cocohook38 @ilovemesomekillianjones @zaharadessert @lyssapup27
@undercaffinatednightmare @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @xsajx @jackieorioncat
@teamhook @soniccat @jarienn972 @softkilly @kymbersmith-90
@apiratewhopines @hollyethecurious @laianely @resident-of-storybrooke @exhaustedpirate
@caught-in-the-filter @stahlop @veryverynotgoodwrites @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite
@whimsicallyenchantedrose @earanemith @superchocovian @idristardis @captainswan-kellie
@beckettj @killihan-jones @cssecretsanta2020
#drummer boys reindeer and romance#csff#a secret santa gift for mie779#csss#cssecretsanta2024#cs modern au#humor and fluff#cs fanfiction#cs Christmas story
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hi, im the madara and kanata anon from es-confessional! i wanted to say i appreciate your explanation, i guess to me kanata's bluntness towards madara always felt different than his usual one with others because he also has sweet moments with them, and because i always feel like madara is actually quite hurt by it and constantly trying to make amends and get kanata to like him again, so to me it always read as more actual resentment over something (even though kanata does obviously care about madara a lot, just never to his face lol) than just regular bluntness and teasing than kanata otherwise does. but thank you again i do appreciate it!
Oh oh, hi again!! :-)!!!
I'm glad you could appreciate it!! I am actually very glad that someone asked, so thank you very much for letting me talk about it and reading what I wrote, hehe!!
Kanata's treatment of Mama is definitely something unique to the two of them, so you're not wrong for thinking that!!! Dialogue like this comes to my mind:
It is different than with others, more intense and almost intentional, and that's what makes it special. It's a quirk of Enstars writing for the cruelness to be indicative of intimacy, which is kind of funny? I blame Akira.... And, you're right, it also doesn't help that these two have less tender interactions between them than others, which makes me feel sad too!! They do have their moments--the Dolphin Song idol story is one of my favorites to reread all of the time. In that story, they're really just hanging out, bantering with each other, and it ends up with one of my favorite ever exchanges between them:
Just look at the fondness in their eyes!!!!
But, overall, their interactions have always had this lingering, melancholy atmosphere to them, in addition to tension... It's really not the same as with other pairs, so, I understand your thoughts!!
Oh, and it's exactly as you point out, it does mess with Mama's self esteem, it does hurt, and I've always wondered if part of it is intentional. I say that because Mama's probably the biggest self-fulfilling prophecy in Enstars. Being mistreated so often in life will do that to you! It's a common thing for people who survived abuse, falling for the cycle of self-sabotage. It kind of goes like this: Madara struggles to believe anyone cares about her or likes her, so she will avoid her friends or even pester and provoke them, which makes them get upset at her, which then validates her own internalization that no one likes being around her. This happens most obviously with Kanata, considering the two and their insane circumstances (The Cult). It is very painful, and it can be super sad to read... but, on occasion, Kanata will verbalize that there isn't actual resentment there, which is reassuring, at least!! Here's a part from Purple Wisterias of May
The nature of Kanata's disparaging I think is less rooted in hatred, and more frustration ... but that doesn't really get communicated well sometimes. Myriad of Colors and Flowers (or, I think it's officially translated as Technicolor Flowers) portrays that dynamic pretty well, though...
I'm sorry, this is me going on a tangent, because I liked your questions so much, I hope that's okay! An interesting facet of their relationship is that it's originally (from a chronological perspective, not serial) Madara who is the mean one between the two!
From ABYSS, when they are both children. Kanata as a little kid was actually very sweet and loving towards Madara, who was, by contrast, more rude. The flip-flop in their behavior from childhood to high school is kind of interesting to me, huh? Um, but that's enough getting off topic!
TL;DR (because I talked so much, I'm really sorry!!!), your read isn't incorrect at all! These two have a lot of complicated things going on between them. Kanata is mean to Madara, and it does hurt, but it's not out of dislike, really its... a desire for Mama to stop being difficult, for once.
#I??? ended up rambling??? I really do apologize anon you've awoken the evil parasite in my head#but I am glad to talk about it. hehe!!!#madakana are my special things....#and forgive me for being unable to stop using my gender headcanons here ... they come naturally to me#um....I like analysis of whatever the hell is wrong with them#madakana#enstars#madara mikejima#kanata shinkai#ask
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I know the evil Leo au involves the rise brothers being perfect, but do you think that they ever do anything perfect that's *not* perfect to Leo? Before he hates their guts and everything they do?
Like, they're genuinely meaning well but he doesn't like it kinda
He’s not evil!! He’s just… Sad :(
He’s a sad boy who needs to be chained up so he doesn’t hurt anyone. He needs therapy. He needs hugs. But mostly chains.
Oh, yeah, that definitely happens! All the time. Many times.
I think what's interesting is there are a number of things that the Rise brothers do in the show and they are portrayed as 'good' or 'relatable' and I kinda side-eye it like: Is it? Really??
But of course, I respect the differences of community and families that lead others to see themselves in the Risebrothers.
Leo is too busy being scared of losing his brothers. Which means that everything the Rise brothers have done and will do gets put under a microscope WITHOUT a "respect their choices" lens.
This scene was following me for hours. I wanted to try and think of something else better but I failed miserably. This is what you get.
(I really wanted to express that neither side is the villain nor the good guy in this scene and I'm hoping that I did that well.)
Disclaimer:
Author is NOT OCD but IS playing with the topic of OCD again. OCD symptoms such as: random, intense obsession based on fears of harming/being harmed, blind desperation to follow a safe ritual, and accidental self-harm due to failure to complete compulsion.
If any of these things are triggering, recommended to walk away.
Leo was having a surprisingly good time.
He thought that the brothers were exaggerating when they said that 'their whole situations' wouldn't be noticed- seriously, what is with that cope? Just say mutants- in even the busiest parts of the city. Rafa had even gone as far as suggesting that they put on a strange variety of assorted items for 'costumes' and walk freely through Times Square. The busiest area in any New York. In broad daylight.
"Just live the mascot!" Leon had instructed before leaping backward into the city streets. His brothers had followed his lead, with Don creating a mid-air purple slide to catch them. "GERONIMOOO!"
Leo couldn't bring himself to move. Or think. Much less breathe.
Then Mikey had crept to the edge of the building, eyes blow in worry, only to relax at the sight. He looked back at Leo, absolutely beaming, and said, "Look!"
Not a single person gave the alternate selves a second look. And when they did, it was to eagerly beg for a selfie.
"We're kinda celebs down here." Leon strutted beside Leo once they joined him on the ground, hands propped behind his head. "People love a good dance party."
Which, of course, led to them dancing on a billboard. Somehow.
Leo didn't know what to think but he felt better when Raph sidled in closer to their little brothers, sharp gaze on the crowd around them. The music was blasting and people were cheering and then Mikey bolted to leap up there with them before Leo could react.
Michael pulled him up and Leo's brothers looked as shocked as he felt. They looked at him, waiting for instruction. He didn't have any. They couldn't drag him down without causing a scene. Mikey joined their groove, laughing, and Leo waited for everything to go wrong.
The song ended and they got a standing ovation.
Mikey got a standing ovation. From a crowd of humans.
They came down. The crowd immediately swarmed them to beg for pictures and selfies. Their alternates jumped into poses with their fans, but Raph charged over with a furious "HEY!", bearing enough common sense to refuse them for Mikey.
It was one thing for them to video him from afar. It's another to get a photo up close and personal that could be pasted on the internet where humans could question the legitimacy of the 'costumes'.
Thankfully, that safety measure Mikey seemed to understand.
Then a squealing fan grabbed Mikey's leg and Leo watched her get thrown across the crowd. By Raph. A bunch of her friends caught her. No one else seemed to notice. He could tell by the way that worry melted into a broad grin that their hothead picked up on the lack of reaction too. He was emboldened by it, sizing up to a pretty big guy who was insistent that his son deserved a selfie.
Mikey was having the time of his life. Raph was too, green eyes tinted with a hint of malice, so Leo left them alone.
He slipped out of the way of the crowd that wouldn't stop pressing in, eyeing the piece of hovershell that was still blasting music, darting around the crowd with money bags. The people were dropping money into it, busting out their own moves as it passed by.
This dimension was weird. But maybe it wasn't all bad.
His alternate had been right. Even in broad daylight with a poorly made robe and blaster, no one was giving the mutant turtle a second look. Somehow, magically, they managed to fit right in.
He decided to go find his counterparts.
He hadn't been very... Accepting of the idea when they first presented it. And he hadn't been very kind with his dismissal. He didn't care what they did with their own time, but he really hadn't thought they were taking his brothers' safety seriously. He owed them an apology.
He spots Michael photo-bombing a group photo and catches him as he cartwheels by. "Michael!"
He turns and grins, "Hey, Leo! Having fun?"
"Yeah," He admits. "Actually, I wanted to-"
Leo hits his carapace, baffled to look up and see Leon standing over him. "Sorry! Just need to borrow you."
"Um." Leo feels the weird shift of his body passing through a portal and then the coarse concrete under him. He blinks the blue spots from his eyes. "Why?"
"Oh good!" Don says for him. "Someone else can talk sense into this mess. Leo, Michael, I don't care. Someone. Anyone but me."
Leo sits up when Leon stops crushing his lungs.
Donnie is standing next to the frustrated Don and Leo realizes that he completely forgot about him when he wandered off. He brushes the thought away, grateful that he made his way to the alternates, scanning the both of them to get a read before he interacts.
Don is as hard to read as ever, but his monotone seems more annoyed, possibly by whatever conversation they'd been having.
Donnie's arms are crossed tightly and face is pinched in defiance. Leo can recognize the look in his eyes. He's locked down on something and nothing that anyone says is going to convince him to let up. It's going to have to play out or a tantrum is incoming.
The Sensei does not want to deal with this right now, but he also can't leave their alternates to handle it.
There's no sign of any injury or imminent threats so Leo lets the sigh enter his voice. "Donnie, what's going on?"
"We have to go home." Donnie says, rapid. "I told them. I told them, Leo, but no one is listening. They’re acting like it’s a big deal when it’s not a big deal- I JUST want to go back! I’m not scared!"
Leo reaches out, "Donnie, I know it's weird-"
Donnie steps back. "NO! I'm supposed to tell you and now I've told you so now we can go home! We have to go home!"
"Some human bumped into him and he's been like this ever since." Don grumbles. "Just keeps saying that he needs to go home. I keep telling him that no one's in danger-"
"That's not the POINT!" Donnie fires back furiously. "I TOLD you and you're NOT LISTENING!"
"I'm not listening?!" Don puts a hand on his chest. "Buster, my arguments have been sound! You're the one who's stuck in the wrong side of his brain!"
"I'm not. I'm not." Donnie counters, looking at his older brother. "He hit me and he looked at me and there are so many."
"You knew how many would be here. And they're all friendly!" Leon offers brightly, "Tell him, Leo. We're all friends here, right?"
"Just let him go home." Leo says instead because there's never been any hope in fighting him when he gets that look in his eyes. It's a losing battle that they gave up on years ago. "Trust me, it’s not worth the energy.”
"He won't go unless someone goes with him." Don juts his chin. "And I can't leave my adoring fans."
"I'm not supposed too!"
"You literally run around this city alone all the time!"
"I'm not SUPPOSED TO!"
"He's right." Leo cuts in. "It's a rule Splinter made for when he gets like this outside the lair. I think he- ran off at one point and got lost? Or something? Anyway,” Leo looks to his brother as he wrings his hands and scans his face. Reluctantly, Leo consents, "I'll go to the lair with you, Donnie. Let's just let Raph and Mikey have their fun, okay?"
Donnie nods, moving toward him, but they're intersected.
"Hold on." Michael proclaims as he pushes Leo back and rolls up his sleeves, only for them to fall down again. "What's all this about going home? No one needs to go home. It's fine. We're chill."
"We have to go." Donnie argues because his one-track mind is impossibly dense. "There are humans here."
"Humans that love you guys!" Michael beams. "You fit right in!"
"We don't. We can't." He rambles. "You don't understand- I need the dojo. I can't be here. I-I can't-"
"Why not?" Leon interjects. "What's got your tail in knots?"
"I don't KNOW!" He snaps. "Just let us GO HOME! JUST LET US GO HOME! WHY CAN'T WE JUST GO HOME WE NEED TO GO-"
Leo wishes the floor would swallow him. This is exactly what he was afraid of. Donnie screaming his head off in broad daylight. Now humans were looking their way. He had to fix this.
"Seriously, guys, it would be easier-"
Michael cuts in. "I got this."
Leo hesitates, "I don't think-"
"Dude, chill." Michael waves in his face. "Let me work."
Leo could argue, but he doesn't. This Mikey was some kind of self-taught therapist. Right?
Everyone seemed to trust him. He was always insisting that he knew exactly how to handle things. And he'd been spending plenty of time evaluating Raph. He had to know what he was talking about.
Leo can hardly ever get Donnie to listen. Much less calm down when his temper snaps. They've been right about a lot of things so far.
Maybe Michael could succeed where their family had failed.
Michael walks up to Donnie. Smiles. Inhales slowly-
"BOI, YOU'RE KILLING THE MOOD! QUIT!"
Donnie jerks back like he'd been slapped. Utterly silent.
"Huh." Don says without looking up from his phone. "Dr Delicate Touch actually does have his uses."
"You know it." Michael winks at Leo. He stares at him like he'd lost his mind and then at his little brother, who's attempting to regain his voice. It falters as he tries, "I was only-"
Mikey stands on his toes to poke his forehead. "No."
"We have to-"
A rougher poke. "Nope."
"I'm sup-"
Rapid pokes. "Man, you’re not supposed to go nowhere. The party is right here! Give it a shot! You'll have fun, doctor's guarantee!"
Donnie shakes his head, voice cracking, "I can't."
"You can." Michael soothes with a comforting pat on his arm. His entire demeanor changes, soft and open. "I know this is different for you, but it'll be okay. Just one step at a time. That's how we do it. A little immersion therapy never hurt no one."
Leo watches the battle in his gaze, between the need to keep begging and the urge to bolt. Leo can’t understand how one brain can be so stubborn, but he knows that he's terrified to go back out and for one reason or another, they're actually going to make him.
"I can't." He blurts, "I know it's different and it's stupid- I have to go. I have to. I can't be here."
"You don't have to be here for long." Michael soothes. "Just a little bit. Fight the compulsion just a little. And then you go home."
"I can't." Donnie tries to remove him grip. Michael tightens it, smiling, "Trust me, bro. This is what you're supposed to do. Two minutes. Max. Then you go home like you're supposed to!"
"I'm... I'm supposed-" He looks his way, taller than them all yet somehow very small. "Leo?"
"Guys," Leo is startled when Don slides in his path. He gives him a dismissive stare. "Let the doctor work."
"One step at a time." Michael tugs him forward. "You can do it."
"You got this!" Leon grins as he moves behind him.
Don puts his phone away, "Finally."
Then Leon shoves and Michael pulls and Leo watches terror spark in his younger brother's eyes as he's forced toward the crowd-
Leon goes flying. A firm green hand wraps around the sheath and drags his brother back. Michael almost falls forward, flailing and giving him an incredulous look.
Leo's eyes are narrowed, fury bubbling in his chest as his younger brother cowers against him, and states, "He said no."
"C'mon, man, we pushed you out of your comfort zone and you were having a good time!" Leon proclaims as he gets to his feet. "Donnie will too! You gotta trust us."
"I trust him." Leo says firmly. "And if he doesn't want to go out, then I'm not going to force him."
“He wanted to come here.” Leon reminds. “He knew what’s up. He doesn’t really want to go now, do you, Donnie?”
"I don't know." His younger brother leans against him, nails digging into skin. "I don't know. I don’t know! I'm supposed- I-! i don't know what I'm supposed to do! I don't know I don't know I DON'T KNOW-"
"Hey," Leo says firmly. "You told someone. Just like Sensei said. Like you're supposed to." He glares at their alternates momentarily then looks to his lost little brother. "What do you want?"
"The dojo." He says, blood seeping between his nails. Leo carefully pries his hand from his arm, nodding as he leads it to gripping the leather strap instead. "But I can't. I can't!"
"Donnie-"
Donnie shakes his head, quick, "They said I can’t go home. I don’t understand. I can’t be here. I can’t go home. I can't! Where can I go? I can't be here and I can't be there so where can I-"
“We’re going home, to the dojo.” Leo interrupts carefully. “And we’re going to meditate. And then we’re going to be put all your thoughts down on paper so you know why your upset.”
“Like an essay.” Donnie recites breathlessly. “A research paper.”
“Just like always.” Leo presses. Donnie scans his face, some of the fear flecking away at the promise of normalcy. “Yeah.”
“Always?” Michael cuts in, urgent. “You don’t ever mix it up a little?”
Not since he was seven, Leo thinks. Outloud, he demands, “Why are you still here? We’re not going back out there so buzz off.”
“Hey, you can’t-” Michael holds up a hand to quiet Don. His eyes linger on Donnie’s arm. “Okay, so staying is too far, too freaky, I get it. He wants to run so you let him run. Coolio. What if instead of running to your lair, he goes to ours? Hmm? It’s connected. So basically right next door! Lil’ different, lil’ familiar, tots safe. He can go anywhere he wants to chill out. Do his sciency paper stuff.”
“No.” Donnie shakes his head through every word. “I can’t. We can’t. Why are you doing this?”
“We’re trying to help-” Michael’s voice is soft, but Leo can still hear the cruelty that led him to tell his frightened brother to shut up.
“Don’t.” He interjects with vile. All eyes go to him as he narrows his. “Leave him alone.”
Leon scoffs, “That Sensei garbage doesn’t work on-”
“He wants to go home.” Leo’s voice rises. “I’m taking him home.”
Frustration spark in Michael’s gaze. “Not a good idea.”
“I wasn’t asking your opinion.”
"You are ruining our session." He accuses with crossed arms. "You clearly don’t know what you’re doing!"
"We did what you wanted and he didn't like it." Leo waves at their surroundings. "And you know what? I think your egos should know that I'm not here because of you. I'm here because of them. And if one of them doesn't want to be here then I don't either."
“You’re feeding the compulsion.” Michael argues. “Every time he gives in is another reason not to fight any of the others.”
“If you had any idea of what you’re talking about, you wouldn’t be doing this.” Leo feels Donnie’s bruise-tight hold and the way his weight shifts to lead him backward. “The only reason that he’s like this is because of you.”
“It’s because you never stop him! That’s why he’s doesn’t know how to stop! Just look at how things turned out with April!”
“April is his best friend.”
Leo shakes his head, looking at his brother.
Donnie looks back at him, scanning his face. He likely doesn't know how pathetic the puppy-eyed stare is, but it’s a obvious sign that he wants the conversation to be over. Leo hardens his resolve.
“This is idiotic. We’re going home.”
They turn to go, but a glowing chain catches Leo’s wrist before he can take a step. “Don’t do that!”
Leo grabs the chain and whips him forward, grabbing the scuff of his hoodie as the ninpo flickers in startled eyes. “You’re not a therapist. You don’t know what you’re talking about. And if you ever raise your voice at my brother again…”
He leaves it there. No one moves.
Donnie tugs Leo’s arm. “We have to go.”
Leo drops him, leveling a dark glare as he steps away from their alternates, purple and blue lighting the alleyway. Then he turns as Donnie releases his grip and mutters, “Sorry. Let’s go.”
Anxious to return to the lair, Donnie doesn’t look back.
Pointedly, Leo doesn’t either.
#AU Asks#Wendybirds AU#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012#tmnt donnie 2012#donnie 2012#tmnt raph 2012#tmnt leo 2012#tmnt 2012 donnie#tmnt mikey 2012#mikey 2012#tmnt 2012 raph#tmnt 2012 leo#leo 2012#raph 2012#rise of the turtles#rise turtles#rise tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#leo rise#leo rottmnt#raph rise#raph rottmnt#mikey rottmnt#mikey rise#donnie rise#donnie rottmnt#tmnt fic#tmnt fanfiction#tmnt crossover#tmnt au
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Character Analysis: Alice Wu Gulliver
Disclaimer: I don't read Marvel comics, so I don't know if Alice is mentioned in the comics and, if so, I don't know her role there. I am only talking about the Alice Wu Gulliver from the MCU (played by Ali Ahn), who is a precious baby who was rightfully protected by her mother, who loved her so much.
Okay, so first up: Alice has mommy issues. They've gotten better, I think, after episode four, but she definitely has a whole new batch of mommy issues, too. I have a pretty contentious relationship with my mother, but I know that she loves me and I love her. Alice, I believe, didn't really know that. She grew up thinking that her mother was "unwell" and that she cared more about her fans than she did about her own daughter, that her obsession with this curse was putting up a wall between them. And maybe it was, in a way.
But Lorna Wu did everything she possible could to ensure her daughter's safety. She probably tried dozens, hundreds, even thousands of protection spells before realizing that if she just had a popular enough song, then the spell might never have to end and her daughter would be protected for as long as possible. And she made that her legacy; protecting her daughter to the very end--and past--of her own life.
The fact that Alice didn't know that is heartbreaking.
And that's nothing to say of the lyrics of the song, which make a lump form in my own throat because all Lorna really wanted Alice to know is that she loves her and she would do anything to protect her, like any good mother should.
Example: "If I can't reach you, let my song teach you, all you need to keep our love alive. If I can't hold you, remember what I told you: it's the only way we survive. We survive!" This part specifically has me fucked up, because it's so filled with affection (holding her daughter? I'm crying) and implication that Lorna spent all her time with Alice trying to convey her love for her and how much she just wants her to be protected. It's very powerful. It's why I have listened to this song no less than 5000x over the last week (also to protect Alice ofc).
Also, Alice, despite having a complicated relationship with her mother, knew how to play every note of that song PERFECTLY on the piano. I bet you anything that her mother taught Alice herself how to play as many instruments as possible when she was little, so that she could play the song herself if need be. It's probably muscle memory for her at this point. This was probably their bonding time. I can see why Alice may have resented it (if I was forced to take part in a hobby by my seemingly neurotic mother, I would definitely be bitter about it), but everything Lorna did was for her. Lorna didn't even care about herself staying safe; all she wanted was for Alice to be protected.
Alice, herself, is also pretty remarkable. She was a cop, I think? So she got through the Academy and training and all that, but probably got canned because of this damn curse. She says that everything she touched turned to shit, so I can only imagine how hard her life must have been. I'm not sure that Lorna left her much else but that song and the tattoo she forced her to get at age 13.
But she's also incredibly kind. She talks to Teen with affection, talks to him like he's her equal, which is not common for a lot of people. She praises him and worries over him. She was the first one at his side in the booth after her curse threw him through that window. She helped dig Sharon's grave. She and Jen share some moments (am I the only one that ships them, btw?) And she and Lilia seem to have a good rapport going, as well.
Alice Wu Gulliver has a lot of baggage from a misunderstood childhood and a pretty shit life, but she's probably the person in that group with the biggest heart. She is very compassionate to all around her and I love that about her.
I really hope she makes it to the end (I hope they all do, but I'm trying not to have too much hope. Marvel has broken my heart before.)
We love Alice Wu Gulliver in this house. May she stay protected forever.
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hello lovely!! i was scrolling through x reader (as girlhood demands in the middle of the night) and i was hoping i could do smth about your empty hp!masterlist!! leaving everything up to you but i would love love love a soft!tom riddle fic with slytherin f/gn!reader (whichever you're comfortable with!!) maybe in 2nd ppov but that's personal preference 😭😭 thank you!! have a lovely day 💐💌
"𝓕𝓞𝓡 𝓨𝓞𝓤"
Soft!Tom Riddle x F!Slytherin!Reader
Genre: SO MUCH FLUFF!!!!
Word Count: 765
Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, Tom being OOC but that's okay.
Desc: Despite being strict towards other house students for breaking curfew, Tom just can't seem to apply the same rules to his girlfriend when she wants to sit and watch the stars by the Black Lake. A comfortable silence soon broken by the soft voice of his Slytherin Princess with questions about the future.
Notes: AHHH MY FIRST REQ/FIC OUTSIDE OF HELLAVERSE STUFF!!! Now, please don't come after me if make Tom OOC. I'm going to try my damndest to make him...him? And if you don't know, most of my fic titles are based off a song that either inspired this or was something that fit the vibe. I was listening to "For You" by Angus and Julia Stone and it just spoke to me. I love this song and if you happen to know what show it's from then please be my friend:( I need some to talk to about it.
Note 2: So....I got this request forever ago and I just now got around to completing it(work is kicking my ass) and I thought: Why not work on some things while sick? So here we are! I wanted to finish this req cause I have been feeling SOOOOO guilty for not completing upon receiving but I have done it! I guess my req's will take time to come out since I work 5-6 days a week:( But I get them done!
Waiting for Tom to come back from Head Boy duties was like watching paint dry. He was always meticulous about the things he did.
You sat by the vibrant green fire of the fireplace in the Slytherin common room with an abandoned book next to you. Your (E/C) eyes lit by the fire, were staring out into space as you thought about what to say to convince Tom to sneak you to the Black Lake.
Despite the fact that it was lightly raining outside, you had wanted to go outside. Certain thoughts about the future have been racing through your mind for the last few months. You and Tom were in your last year of school before being thrust into the lives of adults. Job interviews will take up your time along with apartment/house hunting. Did you want to go back to America? Do you want to travel first? So many questions and all of them you had to discuss with your stoic and unmovable boyfriend.
The entrance to the Slytherin chamber scraped open and a quiet set of footsteps walked up to you. Tom was usually (Or unusually) as quiet as a mouse when moving about the castle but when he knew you were awake then he'd be a bit more loud to notify you of his presence which you greatly appreciated.
"Is it raining cats and dogs or is it light enough to sit out by the lake?" Tom turned to you with curiosity swirling in his dark eyes.
"Sprinkling. Why on Earth would you want to sit out in the rain anyway?" You turned your body to face him and grabbed one of his cold hands.
"I have a few things to ask you but I am sure that we have a few pests lingering about this late in the evening." Tom turned to look but you raised a hand to his cheek to guide his eyes back to you.
"We'll talk about that later but for now, show me the way, Head boy," you cheekily smiled and stood up brushing the little dust that clung to your skirt. Tom stood as well and led you out the chamber and down the halls that he knew had less activity.
"Reminds me of home, you know?" You murmured while looking up at the moon with the light rain sprinkling down on your head. Tom knew where you used to live and that being transferred to Hogwarts took its toll on you considering you came in halfway through 4th year. You always talk about Alaska and how beautiful it was. You wanted to travel with Tom through your state starting with your home town and going from there.
"Are you leaving when we graduate?" The look Tom had given you after asking broke your heart. You knew his financial situation, how hard it is to get through with just a pocketful of change to last the school year.
"I want to go home, but I'll only go if you come with," Tom opened his mouth to protest when you clasped a hand over it, "And I will pay. I want to show you where I grew up. And we'll give you more happy memories so you can work on conjuring up that corporeal patronus!"
Tom gently removed your hand from his mouth. His face was blank but you could see the different emotions flickering in his eyes. You pulled him into a hug, resting your chin on his shoulder and whispered into his ear, "You will always hold a special place in my heart, Tom. If you wish to stay here and pursue a job at the castle, then I won't stop you. You are welcome to join me for the year I go and travel Alaska so when I come back here I'll remember my home forever."
Tom squeezed your waist a bit tighter, like he didn't want to let you go or like he was going to lose you. You knew he was dabbling in dark magic. You have tried everything to get him to stop without him knowing the you knew. Maybe travelling for a bit will help? Or if you guide him in the right directions that he'll completely abandon it altogether.
What you didn't expect was Tom to agree to come with you.
"You're the brightest star in my universe. I love you with all of my heart and I will love you till death do us part. My star..."
What you didn't know was that Tom was born under the Amortentia potion and while those who are cannot feel love, this was the closest Tom has felt to that feeling and he will never let it slip from his grasp.
If you wish to request more then don't hesitate to fill up my inbox!
Here is the link to my Ultimate Masterlist so you can see what I write for. Depending on what you feel like seeing from me then got to the specific masterlist there and pick a character on there! If you don't wanna go through all that then just head to my pinned post:)
#harry potter fanfiction#tom riddle#tom riddle x reader#hp fanfic#writing#creative writing#tom riddle fanfiction
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♡‧₊˚┆ She’s got a halo 'round her finger, around you ๋࣭ ⭑
₊˚⊹♡ Sampo Koski x fem reader
₊˚⊹♡ wc: 2,674~
₊˚⊹♡ warnings: fluff, one suggestive part but nothing explicit, reader stressed because of university & Sampo is there to comfort her (totally not projecting.. haha), the reader is scared of loud thunder (again, totally not projecting.. lol)
₊˚⊹♡ Summary: Different scenarios of Sampo being smitten & head over heels for you, so he consistently tries to woo you.. Even though he really doesn’t need to. ((Your smitten with him too (*ฅ́ ˘ฅ̀*)♡ ))
₊˚⊹♡ Pillow Talks: The title is inspired by a line from Alejandro, by Lady Gaga. Istg I get inspo from the most random things LOL. I’ll be honest I have such questionable taste in characters, like it’ll range from the greenest of flags like Gepard Landau, Nanami Kento, Lifeweaver, or uhh Sasuke Sarutobi from Ikemen Sengoku, and then there’s fucking Blade, Sampo Koski, Gojo Satoru, or Vanitas. Lol. Anyway, hope you enjoy~ I had fun writing this ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
₊˚⊹♡ Masterlist
“How about-“
“No.”
“Half price? Common, that’s an offer I don’t give to just anybody.” “Half off !?? Sampo, you told me it costs a million credits. Half off is still an insane amount of money!” You scoff and opt to ignore Sampo for the remainder of this interaction.
But Sampo is very persistent…. annoyingly so.
"How about this? I'll give you 20% off and throw in another one for free!" The glare you send his way is answer enough. Sampo gives a sheepish smile as you brush past him.
"Sampo Koski, was it?" You ask. You don't have to turn around to know he's following you.
When you hear his confirmation, you proceed. "Listen, I appreciate what you're trying to do but I really don't need... what was it again?" You murmur the last part under your breath, but Sampo's ears pick it up. "A machine that can generate all the academic papers you could possibly need! Not only will you spend less time on boring old school work, buuuut-"
"No." Your answer is curt and final.
Sampo’s dramatic sigh elicits a very sarcastic eye roll from you.
"Okay, well, I tried." Now, he easily matches your strides.
...
This is the third time this week.
One unfortunate afternoon you happened upon a salesman, by whom you now know as Sampo Koski, and he's been persistently trying to sell you things since.
Your refusal seems to fuel his determination and ever since he'll always try to sell you something before he sticks by your side for the rest of the day.
You've tried to shake him, you really have, but you quickly learned how futile it is. For whatever reason this salesman has taken a liking to you, and you're stuck with him.
...
Although, if we're being honest here, you could've shaken him off long ago if you really tried. Yet despite your better judgment, you've allowed this shady salesman into your life. He's spent a few afternoons at your place, and he even has your phone number.
Yet you find yourself behaving as if this wasn't a mutual exchange.
Your busy thoughts are brought to a halt when Sampo's sing-song voice interrupts them. "So, what's on the list today sweetheart?" He chuckles at the exasperation on your face.
"I'm heading home, Sampo. I'm not buying your machine, and I have a paper that won't write itself." Sampo nods in acknowledgement, cheerfully humming beside you.
You pass people young and old as they walk the streets of Belobog on your journey home. You're walking slower than usual, Sampo notes to himself.
He may or may not be completely smitten with you, and him selling you products you may need is just an excuse to start conversations with you, but you have yet to catch on to that little detail.
Sampo thinks it's cute.
"What's wrong?" Sampo speaks up when your house comes into view, yet your pace slows even more. His question is devoid of its usual humor, and that puts you on edge even more.
"It's nothing...." You trail off, clearly stressed about something but keeping it to yourself.
Sampo lets it slide for the sake of reaching your home, where he'll invite himself inside and pester you until you tell him what's bothering you.
He doesn't get that far.
Once you reach your door you suddenly stop, posture tense, and a deep frown paints a beautiful expression on your face.
You suddenly unlock your door all too quickly, and barge inside.
Sampo is really concerned now.
Usually you'd scold him and shoo him away, insisting he leave, but this time you left your door wide open for him to come in.
He's been here a few times before, so he enters your abode and shuts the door behind him.
His brows draw closer in concern when he spots your figure, hunched in on itself, in a corner of the room.
He wastes no time in coming up behind you, but he hesitates to place a comforting hand on your back.
"Name?" His voice is soft, caring. It soothes you.
You lift your head slowly until you are face to face with Sampo. You'd make fun of how concerned he looks if you weren't feeling so crappy.
"Look at me. Focus on my eyes. Good job. Now, just keep on focusing on me, angel. Everything is going to be okay." Sampo's heart squeezes when a few tears slide down your cheeks, but he brushes aside his own concern.
You sniffle before you practically launch yourself at him. He catches you effortlessly, and soon soothing fingers trace random shapes on your back as you cry into his shoulder.
✧˖°.☾ ⚠︎︎ ❤︎ ˚ 🃁 ♡ ⋆。˚
You feel so embarrassed.
You make sure to survey your room before you slip out of the bathroom, changing quickly.
Sampo ushered you into the bathroom to 'freshen up' after you spent an hour crying.
You felt horrible when you noticed his tear stained shoulder, but he hushed you and insisted he didn't mind.
Now, you shuffle awkwardly out of your room to see what he's been up to.
In your living room, Sampo seems to have made himself more than comfortable; it's almost as if the room has been transformed.
Adorable fairy lights line the ceiling to create a magical glow within the room. Your couch has a ton of blankets and pillows scattered about on it, and two warm mugs of what looks like hot chocolate patiently awaits you on the coffee table.
Warmth floods your body as you make your way over to Sampo. At the sound of your steps he swivels around. You catch the concern in his eyes that he quickly masks when he sees you've changed into something more comfortable.
"Ah, there you are! Come join me in the blanket! I'll keep you warm & safe from the loud thunder, babe!" Your eyes widen slightly when he mentions thunder. "Thunder? But-" Suddenly, a terrifying crack is heard, and at lightning speed you're under the blankets and snuggling with Sampo.
His lips curl into a knowing smirk as he gently pats your head.
"I know you don't like loud thunder, and well you're clearly not feeling your best, so the great Sampo Koski created an atmosphere you can relax in." Sampo brags, yet he leans down to place a sweet kiss against the tip of your nose.
Your eyes sparkle with joy.
…
That look in your eyes...
Not only does it warm his heart, but it puts his mind at ease.
"If it's too much, just squeeze my hand as hard as you can. Understand sweetheart?" You give a bashful nod, your hand seeking out his before they intertwine.
Soon you're both laughing at a cheesy comedy Sampo put on for the two of you to enjoy. The hot chocolate Sampo made for you is absolutely delicious.
Once the show ends a comfortable silence ensues. You lift your head to look at Sampo, since you're currently curled against him, and your eyes meet his.
They're full of mirth, and something else that steals your breath away. "What is it angel?" Sampo hums. "I.. Thank you. I'm sorry, school has just been a lot and-" “Shhhhhhh.." Sampo hushes you, placing a finger to your lips.
You watch as Sampo leans in, placing a hand on your neck before he rests his forehead on your own. You close your eyes and relish the close contact.
It's silent for a while, but you don't mind. Albeit his next words send you into a frenzy.
"I can't love anyone else but you." The words are uttered so quietly you wouldn't have heard if the room weren't so silent.
Yet they still hold the same weight as if they were shouted from the highest peak of Belobog, and soon you're leaning back to stare at Sampo in bewilderment.
His eyes are wide, almost as if he hadn't meant to say the words out loud.
"S-Sampo-"
He covers your mouth with his hand, clearly panicking. "Ah- ahaha! That was a joke, clearly! No- wait it wasn't! I mean..." Your lips curl into a smile under his hand; you've never seen Sampo lose his cool like this.
You carefully pry his hand away, he's too occupied with his own thoughts to notice, before you shut him up in the most effective way you know how.
The press of your lips against his stops his frantic thoughts. You feel his body relax. His arms wrap around you, and a sweet giggle leaves the both of you when he kisses you back.
✧˖°.☾ ⚠︎︎ ❤︎ ˚ 🃁 ♡ ⋆。˚
Following that eventful night, you're now in a relationship with Sampo Koski.
You know it may not be the wisest decision you've ever made, but it's one that's brought the both of you immense happiness thus far. That's all that really matters to you.
You just have this charm about you. There’s just something about you that draws him in.
Of course, you'll often say similar things about him, but with you..
Oh, how he’d forsake the world for you and you alone. You have him completely wrapped around your finger and you don't even know it.
You're currently trying on lipstick he bought for you as a gift... bought being a very general term here.
Ahem-
Anyway,
You've finished evenly coating your lips, and the color compliments your reflection perfectly, yet your eyes show hints of worry in them.
“Hey, Sampo? What do you think? I think it looks good but.. I don’t know..” Sampo was too busy admiring your reflection in the mirror to answer you.
Your lips are a different shade from what they normally are, yet they look as enticing as always. Honestly he'd love to test out just how durable that lipstick of yours is...
Wait, what did you ask him? Oh, does it look good? He has a pretty simple answer to that.
“C’mere pretty girl..” He adores the way your expression shifts the brief moment before his lips gently caress yours.
He releases a deep sigh against your lips as his arms pull you against him. He leans his tall frame against you as his tongue languidly runs along your bottom lip. He smirks when your lips part for him.
He’s tempted, very tempted, to accept your offering but he pulls back instead.
Now, your lips are back to their usual color.
“I don’t know. I didn’t get a good look. Please put some more back on, and I promise to take a good, long look this time angel.” Your eyes are dazed now, glassy as they barely register the words Sampo tells you.
He loves it.
✧˖°.☾ ⚠︎︎ ❤︎ ˚ 🃁 ♡ ⋆。˚
“Why do you love me?”
The question comes out of nowhere.
You turn to eye Sampo, a bit perplexed by this question. His facial expression consists of his usual smug grin, but a deep rooted emotion lingers in the depth of his irises.
“Why do you question my love?” A smirk of your own lifts your lips when his expression shifts; his eyes widen as his Adam’s apple bops.
“I.. I'm a scammer, you know? You deserve-“ “So? Consider this as one of those ‘Scammer gets scammed’ videos or something. M’kay?” Your statement is silly in nature, yet it warms his cheeks and makes his heart flutter.
“Ah.. okay..” He has a stupid grin on his face as he rubs the back of his head.
You roll your eyes before you lean in, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. “Don’t you get it? I only want you. .. My heart only wants you.” Your words are filled with emotion; unbridled love and affection overflow from every syllable.
He emits a sound akin to a squeal before he’s hugging you back with tenfold of your strength.
“Sampo!! You’re going to.. crush… me…” You manage to squeak. It feels like your organs are being crushed !!
“Aww, my sweet adorable Name wants me to hug tighter?” Sampo giggles as you internally panic. “SAMPO-“ You take a much needed gasp of air when he suddenly releases you, leaning you against him so you don’t fall to the ground.
You glare at him as you take greedy gasps of air.
He sticks his tongue out, making a silly expression.
Well, at least he feels better.
✧˖°.☾ ⚠︎︎ ❤︎ ˚ 🃁 ♡ ⋆。˚
“Are you insane!? You’re soaking wet!” “I don’t care, I had to come see you!”
A soaked Sampo is at your doorstep, holding a bouquet of red roses, a box of chocolate, and if you’re making things out correctly, a letter tucked safely into the chocolate box, the corner peeking out of the partially opened lid.
You usher Sampo inside as the storm rages on, slamming your door shut.
Before Sampo can even open his mouth you delicately remove the items from his hand to place it safely on a free surface. Immediately after, you instruct him to strip and go wash up.
He wiggles his eyebrows, opening his mouth to say, “I know you want me sweet cheeks, but can’t you wait until I’ve…” He trails off at the stern look on your face.
“Aye aye..” He sulks, placing a purposefully sloppy kiss on your cheek before he walks past you, removing his clothes as he makes his way to your bathroom.
You sigh, rubbing his excess saliva off your cheek.
A small smile presents itself on your face that you quickly mask behind your hand.
✧˖°.☾ ⚠︎︎ ❤︎ ˚ 🃁 ♡ ⋆。˚
Once Sampo is in a change of clothes, yes he has spare clothes at your place, he properly presents his gift to you.
“Ta-da! Your amazing boyfriend has procured all the necessary items to woo his girlfriend on this special day!” He kneels down on one knee, happily opening the box of chocolate.
You cautiously step back, used to something else being in that little heart shaped box, but your eyes are graced with the cutest little balls of chocolate.
You slowly remove the letter from the box before taking a bite of the chocolate. Your eyes shine in delight. “Sampo, you made these?” You gush. He’s bashful, looking down at your feet as he replies.
“Hehe, maybe..” You happily bend down and place a slobbery kiss on his cheek. As he complains you take the time to open the letter he wrote you.
He starts to protest but you ignore him.
“I didn’t expect someone like you to write a letter Sampo…” You coo at the impressive script on the paper. If you were to look up right now, you’d see Sampo burning up.
Literally.
His face is even redder than the shiny apple you ate earlier.
Your eyes eagerly devour the words on the page. By the time you finish Sampo is fidgeting anxiously, hopeful yet scared of hearing your reply.
“I love you too, Sampo.” You get on one knee yourself, leaning in to rub your nose against his.
He groans, playfully pushing you away. “Alright alright, enough with the sappy stuff..” “How can you say that when you made the effort to show up to my place today, even after I told you we can reschedule for tomorrow because the storm is so bad- mmph!” He cuts you off with a well timed kiss.
This time you’re the one who feels like they’re on fire. Sampo adores the look on your face, giggling to himself as he pulls away.
“So, want to play this game with me?” Sampo fishes something out of his pocket, a deck of cards.
You laugh.
“You want to play cards on the night of our anniversary?” He nods quickly, his eyes big and pleading like a puppy.
You burst into a fit of giggles as you pepper his face with grateful kisses. “I’d love to, as long as I’m spending time with you…” Your response makes Sampo the happiest man in Belobog.
“No cheating though, okay?”
“Aw man…”
✉ ⋆ ˚。 ♡ ‧₊˚ ┊ ⟡˚
#sampo koski x reader#Sampo Koski x reader#Sampo Koski x Female Reader#Sampo Koski x female reader#honkai star rail x fem reader#honkai star rail x female reader#Honaki Star Rail x female reader#Honkai Star Rail x Female Reader#HSR x fem reade#HSR x female reader#Honkai Star Rail x fem reader#reader insert#Sampo Koski x fem reader#I love me some silly Sampo 😝💋
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hey i’m really confused bc I’m new to the arctic monkeys fandom, I’ve listened to their music and followed them for years but I never really knew anything about who the members were, their names, personalities, side projects etc. I had no idea about them at all. But a month ago I found out about Alex turner and fell in love with his personality, music, lyricism, everything and so I wanted to see if he did anything outside of the monkeys so I researched and found.. gayness?? I’m so confused right now. In my mind, Alex seemed like the straightest person I’ve ever thought about but then after discovering the last shadow puppets, I decided to quickly watch a performance and omfg I was so startled with how… I don’t even know how to explain it, it’s like him and Miles are homoerotic without even needing the sex part. I looked into Miles Kane, he seems like a nice guy, I like the last shadow puppets music a lot but I never knew that Alex could have that side to him lol. Can you pls explain what miles and Alex are to each other because they literally act more gay than my gay ass if that is even possible and I watched five minutes of their interviews and it’s not even just on stage, they still act as if they’re head over heels in love in interviews too? How did I not know about this?? I found out they had a ship name so I searched it and your blog was the first thing that came up so I’m asking you to explain😭🙏
oh my goodness, i can *hear* me three years ago in this 😂😭 firstly, welcome to the insanity 💗 discovering milex for the first time really is quite an experience, i know i for one have never been quite the same since lol. i mean, i went from "huh, there's kind of a lot of ust between those two guys onstage" to starting a milex blog and writing multiple fanfics about them, so... yeah. trust me, i get it 😅
however, unfortunately i'm not sure i can answer your question of what they are to each other... words that have been thrown at their dynamic from journalists, friends, fellow musicians and fans include: bromance, soulmates, love affair, best friends, lovers, brothers, infatuated, impossible. and honestly... i feel like the truth probably holds elements of all those descriptors. there's never been any official line about exactly what they are to each other, but i think one thing is blindingly clear: how incredibly important they are to each other. like those two men *love* each other. and only they know exactly what form that love takes, but the fact that it's there? absolutely and completely undeniable. the way they act around each other or even just look at each other speaks louder than any definitions ever could 🥺
if it helps, i've been here for years now and it still astounds me quite how... intense and non-platonic the vibes are in literally every scenario whenever they're within two feet of each other (although, as we know, they prefer it if the distance is much less than that). like interviews, behind the scenes footage, onstage performances - wherever they are, when they're with each other they just seem to forget the rest of the world exists and are so wrapped up in each other it almost feels like looking at something so intimate we should look away 😭
in terms of what you said about thinking alex is the straightest person ever: i think that's a really common perception (certainly one i had in my earlier days of getting to know arctic monkeys), because he certainly makes no secret of being into women. however, if you listen to a lot of his songs and are aware of the way he interacts with men too... well, it definitely doesn't seem like it's only women he's into. if you're wanting to get more of a glimpse of that, milex is a great place to start lol. but also you might try listening to songs like catapult, electricity, do me a favour, the jeweller's hands, american sports, and mr schwartz.
i hope this helps a little with the insanity of discovering milex for the first time 😂😅 if you have any other questions i'm always more than happy to help! 😘
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also thoughts on yamace now that you've seen them
Stabbing me in the esophagus would have hurt way less than watching these two interact. I want to give you a proper answer like I always do instead of incoherent screaming, but I watched the flashback so recently that I'm still fucking sobbing. I can't stand gay people and their daddy issues. They make me insane. But since I'm an annoying writer, I will try and explain why Yamace has suddenly made his way to my top 5 ships in only three episodes. I'm pretty sure everybody knows all of this already because I'm late to the boom of episode 1015, but damn, I really need to talk about this or I'll die.
Okay, first of all, their personalities are so good together. They're both silly and fun to watch and impulsive and they want to be free from the chains their fathers put them in (metaphorically and, well, also literally). Perhaps the animation and direction of the show (especially on episode 1015 because oh my fucking goodness) helped a little in setting the romantic mood, but the interactions were all them. These two are literally something else.
To me, it's the angst of falling in love in the span of a night with a stranger with whom you have a lot in common and then watching them go, hoping to see them again- Like, basically being the only thing you look forward to because you don't have anything else except them and the freedom they promised you. And then watching them drift away between your fingers without being able to do anything. It's the frustration and helplessness and the way Yamato's life was the best it could've been and then crumbled down to the point where he had to place his faith in a man who he only knows because Ace talked about him constantly without shutting the fuck up because he's the most annoying brother ever (I love him).
And- I don't know, man. The chemistry is unmatched. Like, I actually felt I was interrupting their romantic moment watching that shit. If I hadn't known anything about them I would have genuinely thought they would kiss.
The whole "You can't choose your parents" and "What do you really want to do?" left me crying and sobbing on the floor. I literally had to sit down on the floor and cry because I couldn't take the parallelisms between them, both being children of important pirates and feeling (a very valid) resentment towards them. It's so good. The way they bond and talk to each other,,, The way they look at each other? This is the type of thing you only see in a romcom. Because quite literally: What the fuck.
And it's not only the obvious parallelisms or the fact that their personalities match perfectly (and also that, aesthetically, they look amazing together. But I think that's what happens when both boyfriends are hot af) but the fact that in the span of a night... Their feelings were so genuine. Ace wanted to come back, he just wasn't strong enough at the time and he was so positive and determined to become stronger so he would go back to Tama and Yamato,,, And Yamato? Waiting for Ace? Yamato waiting for his only friend to come back but knowing he will never do it? Yamato was so cute and excited to meet Ace, and seeing him hurt but it hurt less knowing that he would come back. The fact that he's dead takes that away from him. It just makes him have more faith in Luffy because he carries Ace with him.
How can a ship be so fucking good in only three episodes???? Going fucking wild. Ace taught him the meaning of living freely. Ace made him want to fight to be free. Ace changed his life and, honestly, Yamato changed his life too because it was the second biggest promise (first one being with Luffy, about not dying) he made and he had to actually train and fight to fulfill it. And he wasn't able to do it, but the whole "Luffy carrying Ace's promise" thing makes me go fucking wild.
Well, basically, to finish this: Expect a lot of posts from me about Yamace from now on and also a lot of edits to Taylor Swift songs.
This is so,,, God. It's so romantic. The lightning. The smiles. The fact that they're literally two intersecting lines that will never meet again. It makes me sick.
#they make me go wild#i swear i woke up and i quickly started writing this#they make my heart go ERDFCGVNJKMÑOEFLSKJDNHFGFJDKWBKEFNWLENFL#you know?#one piece#yamace#yamato#portgas d. ace
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Hello. 2, 5, and 24 for Daenerys and Jon??
Really enjoy your blog!
Hii, thank you so much!
JON:
2. Favorite canon thing about this character? The duty vs love theme. It is so central for Jon's arc and for asoiaf themes and his character conveys it beautifully. He's a kid, he wants to live he loves his family he wants to be there for them and at the same time he's stuck in that place and he has an oath he must respect and this is very important to him because he is honorable and takes his words and his vows seriously but it is very difficult to navigate between the two. also how he questions his vows and how he understands the contradictions of the westerosi moral code and the inherent hypocrisy of some vows in the way they are applied, see the "what are these wildlings if not men" dialog, I love this and it is also extremely important thematically for the entire book series (great parallels with jaime here). his struggle with ruling, "there is no happy choice, only some less grievous than others" but someone has to make those choices and this is an enormous burden he takes on. Also his gravitas and how his past seems to burden and haunt him!! he's a kid and he's much older than he should be, mentally, because of his shitty upbringing and also because of a sense of transcendental doom that comes from his parents even if he doesn't know anything about them yet. I'm normal about jon btw.
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? Oh sth from the Cure, like Cold or Homesick or anything from that band really. Emo depressed teenage boy core.
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them? Marius Pontmercy from les miserables. He is in canon described as "not yet a ghost, no longer a man". He is an orphan kid raised by family members who have lied to him about his father his entire life. He grew up having a distorted image of said father, he has an identity crisis towards the middle of the book, he is melancholic and lonely and angry and isolated and struggles between his desire to live and love like a normal young man and his devotion to the cause.
DANY:
2. Favorite canon thing about this character? Oh Dany is hope. Dany is losing her child and her husband and everything that she holds dear and she is desperate but she looks inside Rhaegar's helmet and the face within was her own. Her own!!! A kid, that has known nothing but abuse ever since she has memories of herself manages to believe in herself at her lowest point. Dany didn't know a mother or a father and yet becomes the mother to them all, she never felt safe but all she wants is to keep other people safe. Dany struggling to rule, Dany asking questions about what makes a good ruler, what is a good ruler, how can one become a good ruler. And failing. And trying again. And failing again. But she just keeps trying because her name and the three dragons she has are not a flex and they do not equal power, but responsibility. She has this enormous gigantic responsibility on her shoulders and she has to find a way even if it's not the best one, and this is both a blessing and a curse, just like Jon. Dany trying to get her home back. And she will, "we shall talk when I return" is about her! Dany is hope.
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? Gold Dust Woman by fleetwood mac, I won't elaborate, grrm imagined Dany after listening to that song, he told me himself and this is confimed btw. Look it up.
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them? To me personally Dany reminds me of Enjolras from les Miserables and what they both have in common is their radicalism. Dany is a true revolutionary, an abolishionist, she rejects the status quo, she has a noble cause and she knows that she has to serve that cause no matter the price and she is ready to take the necessary, radical steps towards that cause and she is ready to sacrifice herself and commit violence for that cause because this is the only way any substantial structural radical change can ever be achieved. Yet she does not rejoice in violence, she does not love it and she struggles with it, just like Enjolras who executes that man and says "Death, I use you, but I hate you". He is innocent and pure and so young but also terrible and fearful when he needs to be despite not wanting to, because someone has to be, because this is not a game. I love them both so much.
#jon snow#daenerys targaryen#ask game#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#marius pontmercy#enjolras#les miserables#im the queen of self indulgent parallels!!#aspa rambles
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Cross The Line (Out Of The Grey)- Keefex
word count: 1.4k words
Hiiii! @thelavendernarwhal , I'm your secret santa <3 for the exchange ran by @song-tam !! You said otp is keefex, and I happen to be longtime keefex shipper since 2018 (i havent written for them in forever... god this feels so nostalgic).
Admittedly a bit more fluff rather than hurt/comfort, but I did try and sprinkle in a bit. Plus a fantasy au (since for some reason ive never done one before???). So hope you enjoy this prince!keefe x commoner dex !!!
warnings: none
•~•~•~•~•~•
"For all of the rumors of your stealth, you're not exactly subtle," Dex said, carefully pouring an elixir in a flask to store for later, not bothering to turn around. "Put that one down, that's for one of my dad's customers."
"You can't possibly know it's me," Keefe said with a whine, probably pouting.
"I can recognize your footsteps, you know."
"What?"
"You walk pretty quiet, since you sneak around a lot. But there's there's a sense of order in your footsteps, your princely gait or whatever." He put a lid on the flask and set it down, turning to Keefe. As expected, he was pouting. "What are you doing here?"
Keefe seemed to take his empty hands as a cue to approach, wrapping his hands around his waist and nuzzling his shoulder. "Can't I come visit my favourite alchemist?"
"You've been visiting a lot recently," Dex replied, hugging him back. "Isn't your coronation in less than a week?"
"Mhm," Keefe hummed, squeezing him tighter.
"Shouldn't you be preparing for it?"
Surprisingly, he pulled back, an odd look on his face. "Is my 'princely gait' really that obvious?"
"Eh, probably not," he replied, pulling away. Keefe pouted again, but Dex ruffled his hair, ignoring the protesting squawk. "I'm probably one of the few commoners who would keep track of that kind of thing. I learned to differentiate between each of the triplets' footsteps so I could know which one of them was sneaking into my room in the middle of the night. Plus, I've known you long enough to know your steps."
"Ah," Keefe grinned, and Dex immediately had regrets. "You pay that much attention to me, hm?"
"Shh," Dex said very creatively. He leaned in, quickly stunning him with a peck on the cheek, buying himself enough to recover. He went back to his flasks, placing them in their transport container, then handed it to Keefe to carry. "Hey, why'd you ask that, anyway?"
"You think anyone else would recognize I'm royalty?"
"You've been visiting me for—how many months now?" Dex asked, loading up another transport container. "Told you, I know you. You should get to your point."
"I was thinking—of running away. And living with you. Forever."
Dex nearly dropped the flasks. 'Get to your point', damn, he needed to watch his words next time. He should've known Keefe would pull something this dramatic, with all the lead-up.
Forever...
He cleared his throat, rushing to the exit, beckoning Keefe to follow. "Well—first of all, if you want to live with me, you'd have to be approved by my family. They like you, yeah, but they don't actually know that—"
"I told them, already."
He nearly stumbled on a rock. "Oh." Well, totally his fault for starting this conversation while carrying elixirs. "You told them? How'd they react?"
"Well, obviously, they adore me." Dex rolled his eyes, despite the fact that Keefe wasn't able to see his face. Well, he wasn't wrong, his parents did adore him. "But they already knew."
"...they what?"
"They knew," Keefe repeated.
Dex tried to scan his memories for any signs that his any of his family members had known. His parents had been a bit giggly, but he'd assumed it was because of the fact that Keefe was the first one he'd really fallen in love with, and so they tried to give the talk to him, as if he was thirteen and not eighteen. (Plus—hearing about men's anatomy gave way too much insight into his parents' life which. Gross. He really could have gone without knowing).
"And the triplets?" Dex asked, deciding that it wasn't that unreasonable that his parents knew that Keefe had been a prince all along.
"They knew too. Or, well, suspected. They had a bet going on, or something like that."
He opened his mouth, but then shut it. "Well, my family's approval is hardly an issue. The bigger issue is you running away. What about the throne?"
"As if Mommy and Daddy Dearest would ever let me actually rule fairly," Keefe snorted. "I'm pretty sure my mom plans to have him assassinated after I get crowned as king, and she'll try and control me from the shadows or whatever creepy stuff she plans."
"That doesn't sound like the thing you'd let stop you," Dex hummed.
"Well, I always go after what I want," he replied. "I think I planned to be king to lessen their influence, but honestly, ruling is hardly my thing. Too much work. Foster and Fitz would do a much better job anyway, and they're both already in high enough positions that it wouldn't be unfair if they either ruled themselves or changed this whole thing up."
Dex opened the back door to the apothecary, placing the container he'd been carrying down, Keefe placing the other one down too.
"...you're serious about this?" Dex asked, turning to Keefe.
Keefe was already staring at him. He took a step closer, and Dex sucked in a breath. "I'm always serious about what I want. And I'll say it again—I want to live with you. Forever. In this tiny apothecary, even if the sheets aren't to my standards, even if I'll have to work hard every day." He took one of Dex's hands in his, planting a kiss against callused fingertips.
"This sounds like a marriage proposal," Dex mumbled, looking away.
"It sorta is. But more than that, it's me saying that this is what I really want, that I want us to finally act on our feelings."
Dex felt his heart thumping. He'd been wanting the same thing too—he'd been aching for it, tired of the fact that they'd been walking a fine line of acknowledging their mutual feelings for each other but never really acting on them. A line that had grown thinner over the months as even he couldn't help but initiate affection. He knew that he was the one who had said to wait, but even he couldn't stay in this grey area anymore.
"You're really planning to leave your royal status?" Dex asked. "I mean, if you wait a bit more, my inventions would take more notice and my own status would rise and—"
"Shh," Keefe hummed, planting a finger over his lips. "You think I care about status, really? You don't have anything you need to prove. Not to the world, and not to me either. While your inventions are super cool, you don't need them to keep my attention, y'know."
Dex didn't say anything. He looked away, embarrassed to hear those words directed at him.
"Ah ah ah, none of that," Keefe chided, tapping his chin, and Dex reluctantly raised his gaze to ice blue eyes. "Eyes on me. You're always forcing good self-esteem on me, taking care of me and all that, so that means that you're not allowed to go all self-doubt on me. I'm madly in love with you. You know that, right?"
"You've only professed it at least once per visit since you first confessed."
"Hm, only that much? Gotta step up my game... But again, my point is that you already captured my poor heart by being nothing but yourself. So you don't need to do any weird stuff like try and prove you're worthy of me by making contributions to the world. I mean, if you wanna do that, I'll support you all the way and be your faithful househusband while you work on the outside---"
"I thought you said you were willing to do hard work?" Dex asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Shh. Being a househusband is hard work, don't undermine the commoner's struggles. But again, you don't have to do anything super grand in order to feel good about yourself. I love you anyway."
Dex groaned, pulling him into a hug, burying his face into the crook of his neck. "You are a sap, you know that? I love you so much."
He felt all the tension seep out of him as Keefe hugged him back, and they held each other for a few minutes. Honestly, Dex couldn't believe it sometimes, that he'd somehow stolen Keefe's heart. It still felt so unreal. He still remembered being twelve and lonely. But Keefe was here, had been here for a year and a half, he loved Dex, and this was everything that he had ever wanted.
"I love you," Keefe repeated, pulling back a bit, cradling his cheeks. "Can I?"
"Yeah," Dex whispered, and for the first time, let their lips meet.
•~•~•~•~•~•
Kotlc taglist: @my-swan-song, @stellarune, @impostertamsong, @subrosasteath, @autistic-daydreamer
Want to be added/removed from the kotlc taglist? Just let me know!
I've written a lot of kotlc!! You can find a masterlist of kotlc fics here <3
#dex dizznee#keefe sencen#keefex#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc fanfic#ravi writes a thing#kotlc secret santa 2024
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Thank you for the way you handled that ask about Wille's and Simon's drama. Because that sentence 'On the other hand, Simon needs to have a bit of more drama thrown at him' made me so furious. It was so insensitive! The fact that he suffers in silence and alone in his room not to bother other people doesn't mean he doesn't suffer enough and needs some more! The fact that he didn't jump on the table or say he feels like dying doesn't make his experience any less traumatic than Wille's. What he needs is to process his trauma rather than brushing it aside, not to get some more.
Once again thank you, you put it all beautifully.
Yes 😭 this is a very common hope for Simon to get pushed to the point of a breakdown but it’s like .. at what cost?😩 He has been thru enough trauma for a lifetime and a half. And the thing is, most people cannot actually stop and process the trauma if they are constantly being hit with more. I think we are more likely to get simon opening up if he is able to find safety which he did not really have. he is expected to be the strong one by everyone in his life. His friends try their best but still, telling him to rebound is the same message him mother gives him of “you are strong”. Bc they dont want him to sit with his feelings and cry (it’s uncomfortable and not the norm for them), they want him to forget about the Prince and move on. Up until s3 he has not had someone to cry to- thats why he writes his songs and holds wille’s sweater. Even when he is talking to Rosh and Ayub in the kitchen if he was actually crying to them i feel they would show it- it appears he probably cried on the way home before they came (this is my hc if yall think he cried to them u can believe that if u want)
i think Simon’s character is very accurate to what a lot of men, people socialized as men, and also people of color experience and how we deal with our emotions. I get that for a lot of people it is cathartic to sob but for many of us, crying like that especially in front of someone else is terrifying. we are conditioned that letting other people see u in that vulnerable state is a weakness (puts you in danger or will be used against you & that anger is safer). I know some men who have not cried since they were children and told me they dont even remember what it feels like to cry or how to actually let the tears fall from their eyes. It is messed up. Is that fair? No. Is it true that it is a weakness? No. But not everyone learns that. The patriarchy sucks and harms us all lol i wish people would understand that and have empathy for the deep sadness that simon is carrying and hiding whether he lets it out or not.
Not to mention everyone deals with their trauma differently and i think it is cool that the show is realistic and shows people dealing with things in different ways. Simons character is relatable bc of this and instead of people saying “it’s not fair that Wille gets to express himself in this way and Simon doesn’t” i want people to think about WHY Simon is not be able to. I know wanting simon to cry comes from a good place but it does upset me a little bit bc even if he doesnt have a breakdown s3, that doesnt mean that the writers hate him and arent doing his story justice which is what people say abt s2. At the same time, if he does have a break down, that would be totally warranted. i'm just saying that if it doesn't happen that's valid too.
THAT BEING SAID. I think s3 is a great opportunity for Simon to hear from Wille that he doesnt always have to be strong and that Wille can be a reliable safe space. I think Wille’s tenderness is something that Simon sees and now that they are on good terms and Wille has worked to rebuild the trust, I hope Simon will turn to Wille for emotional support however that looks.
Ermmmn I’m very sorry that this turned into a dump but i had to get it off my chest.(made a few edits for clarity and spelling mistakes bc i posted this in the middle of the night)
#misfit answers asks#young royals#this is not targeted at the first anon i just see it a lot and have a lot to say on the topic#simon eriksson
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some general random questions!!! hihi levi i love you and i miss you bro hope you're doing well <3
what have you been up to lately? how's 2025 looking for you so far?
anything you're looking forward to? can be soon or in the future any time
three common comic related misconceptions you see in the dc fandom + what comics would you recommend reading to fix them?
pick any song, from your shuffle or anything you remember first; what oc or canon character does it remind you of and why?
would you and your icon be roommates?
your tumblr icon vs your discord icon: who'd win that fight
what's one hobby you'd like to learn one day? what's one hobby you enjoy doing now?
what are you reading currently? or last reas? can be comics, novels, fanfics, etc or even just academic stuff
what are three things you're proud of yourself for?
are your muses with siblings anything like you and your siblings?
what was your first fandom or special interes
favourite supernatural or mythical creature or cryptid?
have you ever been into creepypasta?
two truths and a lie?
you don't have to do this all, whatever you feel like doing!! 🩵🩵🩵
hiii sans!!!! i love and miss you too <3 <3
thank you for all the questions i had so much fun answering them :)
what have you been up to lately? how's 2025 looking for you so far?
mostly school! i was finishing up the semester so i can enjoy my summer break before i knock out my last two semesters before graduation. i've been reading as i have the time and the last couple days i've been cleaning n organizing the apartment because we've got stuff we can get rid of and im trying to clear out our dining room alcove thing so i can use it as my own space. i've already got like a layout planned n stuff i'm gonna get for over there! im very excited! 2025 has not been too bad for me! there's been some upsetting shit but its not been as bad as last year was.
anything you're looking forward to? can be soon or in the future any time
my top surgery consultation!!! its in july!! i'm so fucking excited you would not believe. also graduation but like less so lmao
three common comic related misconceptions you see in the dc fandom + what comics would you recommend reading to fix them?
1. that tim drake is a Weak and Defenseless or whatever. just the constant like almost infantilizing of him that i've seen a lot of. because he for sure is not incapable of defending himself or Weak or fragile or anything else people seem to think about him in this regard. i am not the tim drake expert so i dont know too many specific comics to recommend but i do have teen titans (2003) #29 in mind because a) i love it and b) it would also help clear up the misconception that jason nearly killed tim and that he'd gone to titans tower to kill tim. would love to see people know the actual context of the titans tower attack and not the angst version that makes tim out to be less than he is. 2. the idea that batman is either entirely shitty or incapable of doing any wrong. bro he's got layers and 8 billion different iterations it is not that simple. legit pick up any two different batman books, check out different characterizations and dont base an opinion of him off of fanon stuff or the one (1) book you did read. he's a cool character but he's not infallible but he's also not completely terrible all the time. same with a lot of comic characters actually. 3. i can't think of another one bc lmao so instead im gonna say check out kyle rayner's run as green lantern and damage (1994) pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease bc they're out here STRUGGLING for real. they both get superpowers and then are thrown into a world ending crisis event. kyle had been green lantern for like a week and he comes home to find his girlfriend has been murdered and he's then gotta fight fucking. former green lantern hal jordan as parallax all while time is disintegrating around them and he's still figuring out the whole green lantern thing. grant has his powers for 48 hours MAX when he's pulled into zero hour. the poor kid has just gotten his ass kicked by metallo, blown up his school or most of it at least, found out his parents weren't his parents, got sold out BY the people he thought were his parents, got kidnapped by the evil corporation that fucked over his life so bad, got his ass kicked all around atlanta by a different bad guy, had the TITANS called on his ass, AND got pulled into saving the universe when he didn't even know if he wanted to be a hero, legit having to have his powers overloaded so he could create a big enough explosion to restart the universe. this kid is going through SO much and he's only like sixteen at the time. he should've been in class n making friends :(
pick any song, from your shuffle or anything you remember first; what oc or canon character does it remind you of and why?
when i first hit shuffle the song that came up was CONTROL BABY by jhariah and i already talked about how that reminds me of jason todd so picking a second one! my boy builds coffins by florence + the machine!! this song makes me think of my oc micah ravenwood (he/it) because it's the personification of death / the grim reaper and idk it just became a song i associate with him. it also kinda makes me think abt my oc levi faust-laurent (they/them) for no reason other than i can easily picture them within the vibe of the song, like they could be the boy who builds coffins i dont get it exactly but that's their vibes.
would you and your icon be roommates?
we could be roommates i think, but i know that mark is gonna have some habits n stuff that would annoy me. i dont feel like he'd be quite as tidy as me and that would suckkkk + the fact that living with him would mean there's the potential our place would get attack on the regular + i'd have so much anxiety about getting rent n whatever shared bills paid (bc i cannot imagine a universe where me and another twenty something year old guy own a place) bc sometimes he's off planet or in another dimension or off doing his own thing + not making a whole lot or any money so that'd be a no from me.
your tumblr icon vs your discord icon: who'd win that fight
my icon here and on discord are both invincible akahsj so technically mark would win either way but it is show mark vs comic mark so? i'd have to say my tumblr icon bc comic mark just hits different
what's one hobby you'd like to learn one day? what's one hobby you enjoy doing now?
i enjoy crocheting so much now but i hardly ever have the time for it because i've got so much going on. as for one i'd like to learn? cross stitch! it looks fun tbh
what are you reading currently? or last read? can be comics, novels, fanfics, etc or even just academic stuff
god, i've been doing so much reading for school lately so i guess i'll drop a couple academic recs lmao first off two non textbooks i had to read for class, they're both nonfiction and for sociology courses if that is a turn off doing the best i can: fatherhood in the inner city by kathryn edin and timothy nelson. its a pretty good read focusing on what fatherhood really means and looks like for fathers in poor areas. the authors share the stories of some of the fathers they interviewed and idk its cool reading something where the authors dont immediately go in thinking the worst of these parents. like its pretty respectful and doesn't try to demonize either side. chasing the scream: the first and last days of the war on drugs by johann hari. this one. i could make a whole separate post about it honestly! the way hari writes keeps you interested as you're following him through his journey to figure out why the war on drugs is failing in america, what caused it, and what we can do instead of the harsh punishments for drug related crimes and the stigma surrounding drug use, abuse, and addiction/addicts. he follows several personal accounts from people that have been effected by drugs or addiction in one way or another and he doesn't shame or demonize addicts, he doesn't talk about them like they aren't still human which is something i feel like a lot of people dont do. he doesn't act like addiction is this moral failing either that is shameful or whatever, he recognizes that its something people struggle with for a variety of reasons and it doesn't mean they're bad people. oh my god and he highlights the benefits of harm reduction over punitive actions!! i fuck with that SO hard!!! he talks about places where drug use has been decriminalized and the general vibe has shifted more towards treatment and acceptance over judgment and punishment. bc he recognizes that environments where you AREN'T shamed and you have the support you need are ones that foster healing and they're more likely to be the environment where someone is able to stop using. and how its better and safer and just makes more sense for the use of illicit drugs to be somewhat regulated like any other medication where people that use them and have used them long-term are able to use safely and dont have to rely on getting their supply through illegal means where they dont know if its even safe for them to use because shit is coming out tainted and super fucking dangerous. just! harm reduction! dude! people would be safer and drug related crimes would come down and overdoses would decrease. he also discusses the importance of connection and kindness and compassion when it comes to addiction. which again is something a lot of people struggle with when it comes to how they think about addicts and how they interact with them. he also talks about both sides of the war on drugs, those for reform and/or struggling with addiction and those against it. he discusses the historical roots of america's drug war and how its inherently rooted in racism (& to a somewhat lesser degree, classism) and its just such a good read. i also think it would be a good read for people on here (along with other books n articles) because sometimes. i dont enjoy the way people talk n act when it comes to addiction. (this got so long im sorry, im passionate abt this stuff bc i grow up around a shitton of social workers / substance use/abuse counselors AND i almost became one myself (technically i still could if i wanted to i've done most of the classes) AND i'm the child of an former addict turned counselor AND i've dealt with my own shit so i care lot about all of this bc the way people talking about drug use and addiction is so wrong.)
the last book i read for pleasure was annihilation by jeff vandermeer and it was good! proper creepy n the vibe was eerie n i loved that it was unexplainable stuff but also like. Nature? i guess? like there was technically a monster and creepy things about but it was mainly the setting and the plant n animal life that made it so eerie bc things were not always obviously Wrong. it could look normal but things were always Off im not currently reading any other actual books but im gonna start the second book in this series soon.
NOW comics? i've read so so many akahs the last single issue i read was absolute martian manhunter which fuckeddddd and i'm currently working thru seven soldiers of victory! which is like a series of connected minis for seven different characters and how theyre going to save the world basically. the characters with minis are zatanna, klarion, the manhattan guardian, bulleteer, mister miracle (not scott, a different guy that i think was created for this series), shining knight, and frankenstein. i started with zatanna's mini at first not realizing it was part of something bigger but im enjoying all the other comics a lot as well!! klarion's was a little creepy n the vibe was interesting n tbh klarion has kinda endeared himself 2 me i think hes a cool weirdo, the manhattan guardian was also pretty neat, and shining knight is sososososo cool to me. so fuckjng cool. bc listen. i know they did not INTEND for the character to be read as trans (im assuming bc it was 2005 and just context) but you cannot tell me that that's not a valid take since, up until the dramatic "reveal," he's referred to with he/him pronouns, called a boy multiple times, and uses the name justin. like i get it, its supposed to be dramatic and whatever yknow the whole ooo the skilled knight was a girl in disguise all along well fuck that shit! he's trans to me. and i love him. also zatanna has a moment with her dad at the end of her series that made me so emotionalllll
what are three things you're proud of yourself for?
my grades, the fact that i've made it to 23 when i thought i wouldn't even make it to 18, and the fact that i'm my grandmother's favorite grandchild lmao, i've worked hard for that shit. i'm beating out all 3 of my older cousins, including the one who speaks japanese which is the ONE thing he has up on me. but i get points bc i want to learn and that made her so happy to hear. my spot at the top is truly unshakable <3
are your muses with siblings anything like you and your siblings?
yep! sometimes! most of the sibling relationships i write have some aspect that i've taken from my real life experiences with my brothers. there's no direct 1x1 matches or anything but there's little things like the vasilyev brothers have the same age gaps as me and my brothers and sometimes like the way i write or think of dick and jason has similar vibes i guess. like the whole "you're my brother and i love you, but i dont always like you" and "i love you and i'll protect you but in some ways i resent you because you didn't go through what i have". oh and a lot of them have a dynamic where the older sibling is kind of the protector yknow? always looking out for their younger siblings and that's. definitely something i pulled from real life because that's just. that's the only way i know how to be an older sibling, you're a sibling but you're also their protector and/or secondary caregiver/third parent. aeron & noah vasilyev have certain parts of their dynamic that are for sure like me and my brothers bc i, much like noah, would and have kicked someone's ass for my brothers. protecting my middle brother is pretty much the only reason i ever got into any fights at school tbh because i wouldnt stand for that shit if i saw it. being an older brother does help in how i write sibling dynamics imo
what was your first fandom or special interest?
uhhhh pokemon or maybe yugioh? for my first fandom probably idk. probably pokemon as well for my first special interest i really don't know. tbh the answer to both might also be teen titans (the show) bc i fucking LOVED it and i made my parents watch it all the time and i had like some toys n stuff for it? so yeah the superhero thing isnt new. ACTUALLY holy shit okay bc youre getting this stream of consciousness style baby! my first special interest was the hulk akagskab i was SO fuxking obsessed with him. i watch the old cartoon, the movies, i had hulk toys n clothes n i was just so into him.
favourite supernatural or mythical creature or cryptid?
jackalopes! i was so upset when i found out they weren't real (idk how i didn't know until. i was Older but i guess) and its also a little funny that i like those guys since im scared of rabbits. you'd figure they'd be a no go for me mothman is also cool. nd bigfoot i guess? bc that's a staple here in the pnw i also rlly like banshees n kelpies n selkies n dullahans bc theyre all really Neat and they give me interesting writing ideas sometimes. if only i could right them... OH and werewolves. they're the SHIT dude i like them over vampires! i have created so much lore in my little oc universe for werewolves (vampires too but not as much) if i was in some supernatural setting, i'd almost certainly be a werewolf. it's the himbo energy i have, i think it translates well to werewolf akahsk
have you ever been into creepypasta?
i was an alt preteen/young teenager in the mid 2010s of course i was into creepypasta /lh for specific characters i really liked ben drowned and eyeless jack, but i was mainly into reading different horror stories over enjoying any one of the really popular dudes.
two truths and a lie?
one time i had a professor tell me my paper was the best one she'd ever read. i used to collect matchbox cars and hot wheels when i was younger. one time i accidentally broke a kid's nose while i was at school.
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Hello! If it’s okay, I’d like to know your thoughts on the Trikoto theory (3+ alters). I think it’s a cool theory! And pretty likely, honestly. (Here’s a document about it in case you don’t know what I’m talking about. I didn’t make it, and I unfortunately don’t know who did, I just found it in another blog)(I really hope that link works lol)
Hey FF! I was wondering when you might send something in. Not the topic I expected, but I'm here for it!
I've definitely heard of this theory before. I can't say I know for sure where it originated, but I've always been under the impression that a blog called @bertrandcaillet started it as they're the first one I saw talk about that theory and they told me about it a while ago. They've since deactivated, though, so I can't really check with them to see if that's true.
I think the trikoto theory is interesting, and I fully agree with what's said on the document about how it would be nice if Milgram is showing a system with more nuance than just having two alters.
That being said, I personally don't believe this theory for a number of reasons. I'm going to do my best to explain why here. I do want to say going into this that while I do have extremely minimal psychology teaching (as in, undergrad psyc MINOR), I do not claim to be that educated on DID or similar struggles. So, anything that I say will be focusing much more on Milgram as a piece of media from a writing standpoint, because that's what I have much more extensive experience in.
I will say that I am very aware that most systems have more than 2 alters. That being said, I think I also remember from my psyc class that the average number is, like... 16? I'm not at my dorm right now and that's where my notes are, so I can't check, but I remember specifically thinking about it in the context of Mikoto and trikoto theory, so I'm pretty confident it's Above Three. That means that either way, it's not like we're doing The Most Common Number, so I think two versus three is largely irrelevant on that point.
For the sake of clarity, I'll be using the names in the doc (Akakoto, Midokoto, Aokoto), but I only personally believe that two of them (Akakoto, Aokoto) exist. I've taken to calling them Orekoto and Bokuto, but for this post, Akakoto and Aokoto it is.
At its base, my problem with trikoto theory is that I don't see a lot of evidence for it. Most of what I've seen has been talking about the implications of it if you assume it's true, but I've just never really been convinced in the first place. I'll just go through some of the main reasonings real quick:
The RGB Colors
I do acknowledge that I'm very much not a visually oriented person, so the color shifting is something I'm less inclined to notice. However, while the background of the room is blue and the train station and apartment are pretty green, I don't feel like there are ever really any red backgrounds (other than when the headspace becomes red as ooposed to blue). Because of that, I have a hard time believing that the backgrounds themselves contribute to the idea that there are three. I definitely think the red/blue coloration in the eyes and such are indicating different alters, but I don't think that specific fact supports there being three of them.
The Voice Changes
This might be a me issue, but I only really hear two different vocal inflections. I understand the point about there being some harsher (?) sounding vocals that don't have the growl, but personally, I still think the tone matches the one described as Akakoto enough to count. Similarly, the parts towards the end that are picked out for Midokoto ("I'm probably not to blame," etc.) actually sound more like Aokoto to me even if I do try to track the three voices.
I'm hesitant to go too hard in believing the different voices because to me, doing so would severely limit the amount of control Natsuki Hanae would have over the emotions he wants to put into the song. The vocalists in Milgram do a fantastic job at using specific vocal intonations to convey deep layers of emotions in their songs. I feel like it would be very limiting to only be able to use certain vocal effects (ex. growl) in specific places due to the limitations of the characters. If there are two, the two voices are far more separate, which gives more space for customization within the bounds of each voice.
This is also a little bit iffier on evidence, but there's the Es cover of MeMe. I don't know how much Yurina Amami knows about Mikoto's story and the entire video is in grayscale, so take all of this with a grain of salt, but to me, I feel like Es uses two voices here, not three. Notably, they even have a bit of vocal growl on the "switch" and on "split and half, make that heart beat," which are both squarely in the Midokoto tone. They do still have the two voice split, sounding a bit more apathetic and aggressive in the Akakoto parts and cuter in the Aokoto parts. To me, that signifies that there's suppose to be two voices going on, not three, but you could argue that that's just Es' perception of Mikoto, so it's not decisive or anything.
Mikoto Fighting Es
Yes, in his first audio drama, Mikoto is able to beat Es up until Kotoko stops him. Yes, that's inconsistent from what we've seen from Futa and also t2 Amane. I agree that that's because the Milgram rules only apply to one or more alters, and thus any others that may exist can get around the rulings. We saw this between trials, too, with how Mikoto (seemingly Akakoto at the time) was able to avoid being restrained despite his guilty verdict, likely through the same loophole.
(Side note: this implies to me that Milgram's system for restraining guilty prisoners is, like the protective barrier around Es, somewhat magical and isn't a physical thing. Thus, if we were to, say, vote Amane as guilty, I am fairly confident she would be unable to harm any other prisoners, as we've already seen the barriers are able to prevent her from attacking others. I still lean Amane innocent anyways, but I wanted to point this out.)
Anyways, I don't think that this is actually evidence towards trikoto theory because it works perfectly fine with just the two of them. Aokoto is the prisoner in Milgram and Akakoto isn't. This doesn't necessarily mean that Aokoto is the one who was fronting while the murder happened, though; the rules of Milgram just necessitate that the prisoner is involved in/related to a death. It can be indirect.
I think that that's exactly what Milgram is asking us with Mikoto. The question is, how do you fairly hold a system accountable? Can you blame one alter for the other's actions?
Milgram loves to complicate these, and I can see the appeal of a complication being learning about a third alter. Personally, I think it's much more likely that the route Milgram is taking is looking at how much knowledge the alters have about each other and asking how much Aokoto would have to know to make him an accessory to Akakoto's murder plans. It could go either way, though.
Some Bonus Points
I think the strongest piece of evidence brought up is the use of threes in Mikoto's design. Other than "they just liked it aesthetically," there isn't much of a counterargument I can make about it. My best one would be that they might be going for a "switching between black and white" type of thing, which would work better with more stripes, but that's pretty weak. I also had the idea that the first character of his name looks like three stripes, which might be a better or worse explanation! You get to decide, I have no idea.
The cake sells me less, though. It's true that Kazui's is a perfect 50/50 and that Mikoto's isn't, but that's because they're representing different things.
Kazui's is half and half because his song is called half, and it could also be a sign of how he and his wife didn't actually connect more in a marriage sense; they're still two fully separate people rather than being a unit.
Mikoto, if he has two alters, is still physically one guy. Mikoto is mostly sitting on the flower designs. I'd argue that the flowers are meant to show Mikoto as a whole: the connection point of the two alters.
That's pretty much all of what I have to say on the doc (in terms of the trikoto aspect, whether I believe it or not there's some good work done in character/lyric analysis that applies to two or three alter theories), but I'll go over some of my reason for why I actively believe there to be two, because there are some reasons.
Reason 1: The Song Titles
The doc explains what the meaning of MeMe is in trikoto theory, but it definitely still works with two, more obviously so. That's not evidence, though, because the trikoto theory has a viable explanation too.
I have no idea what they'd be doing with the song title Double, though. I guess it would be a play on somebody being someone else's double, meaning they're someone like them, which is no doubt part of the song title either way, but I think it's difficult to ignore the meaning of Double that means, y'know... multiplied by 2, or:
But that could very easily be a diversion and we haven't seen the second video, so I'd let that slide. However, that brings me to the bigger problem:
Reason 2: Upright Versus Reversed
AKA, the tarot cards.
Tarot cards can be read two ways, Upright or Reversed, based on the orientation of the card when it's placed/picked up/whatever. I already went over in my original theory (which is pretty outdated, I could do a way better job but I wrote that one literally first out of my milgram thoeries and I hated not having a good name scheme for the various alters) why I believe Akakoto to be the Hanged Man (Upright) and why I believe Aokoto to be the Hanged Man (Reversed).
I struggle to imagine why the devs would pick tarot, something that clearly has two meanings to it, when there are actually three alters. Maybe it'd just be to throw us off the scent, but it feels a bit too intentional to me.
Plus, if it was meant to throw us off, I'd expect we'd get a different metaphor/symbol for the second MV (as we have been with pretty much everyone). However, the association between Mikoto and "reversible" things has continued into trial 2, even before his MV has come up.
I say this because of his trial 2 cover song: Reversible Campaign. Funnily enough, I actually thought this song would go to Kazui before it was announced as Mikoto's, but then I looked again and understood why they wanted it for Mikoto.
My thoughts get confused and fight with each other
Very Mikoto, works for either two or three alter theories. However:
I just want to waver between black and white
It's turned me upside down
There's more that seems to paint Mikoto's mind as a dichotomy, not a... trichotomy? Is that a word? I don't actually know.
The Song Lyrics of MeMe
This is sort of an extension of the above part, but there are also definitely song lyrics in MeMe that sound like they're heavily implying two. Again, you could argue that that's trying to throw us off the scent, but some of them are, in my opinion, actively difficult to justify for trikoto theory.
Split in half, Make that heart beat
I cannot for the life of me understand why any of the three alters would say "split in half" if there are three. I guess if any of them were aware of one of the other alters, but not the other? I don't think that's what was being argued, though, sorry if I missed that.
I’m already the fake one
Little harder to argue this one because I don't know how definite versus indefinite articles work in Japanese, but saying the fake one really sounds to me like there is one fake and one real. If you were just having a moment of existential crisis, in most situations, I think you'd opt for "I'm already fake."
The Mirror
This is sort of the same argument as the tarot cards, but there's also the use of mirror imagery in Mikoto's MeMe MV. Mirrors have two sides and are a reflection. You could use Haruka logic and say that it depicts self reflection, I guess, but considering the reflection acts differently, I think it's much more likely that this is meant to show the two alters.
Conclusion
Hopefully this all made sense? I respect trikoto theory and I could easily be super wrong about it (see also: my original opinions on gay Kazui theory and police Kazui theory), but I've just never really been sold. It's possible my opinion would change if I saw evidence that I felt worked better for trikoto than... twokoto? theory, but personally, I feel like most evidence I've seen for it is still better explained by there being two alters. Let me know what you think, though :)
#milgram#ミルグラム#mikoto kayano#milgram theory#admin venus#we talking about mikoto again!#makes sense considering his video's coming up next#MeMe was the first video that i saw the day it came out#so that's kinda exciting for me#also i strongly doubt you're out there anon who asked about mikoto having potential childhood trauma bc DID is VERY heavily related#but if you are i'm sorry i haven't responded i am so no thoughts head empty on what it would be#i suspect there probably is trauma there bc DID is SO frequently connected to childhood abuse but i simply don't have any answers in my min#also hi ff welcome to milgram again :D
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